Computery things

There's something quite appealing about fixing my computer problems by getting a new computer. It has a cool slicing-the-Gordian-knot appeal.

I tell Matthew XMMS hates me and isn't working and thus I hate it too and will he look at it when he comes here on Thursday? He says no I won't, because I won't be around that long and anyway I think it's the sound card and you're getting a new one of those, remember? Ha!

See, my computer isn't really mine; last October he gave me a bunch of computer parts he happened not to be using anymore, since I had no usable computer myself. Now he wants to sell this computer, and has nicer things to let me use.

This is the third computer I've been able to call mine; the first two--a laptop that was a graduation present and a desktop I got when the laptop became unbearable--were evil Compaqs bought by my well-meaning parents at Best Buy. This computer, on the other hand, is a heterogenous mixture of randomly acquired components that are probably older than my other computers, but they work. And, if they don't, I know the tech support likes me (at least, I have reason to suspect he does). Which is more than I can say for Compaq.

I'll miss this case; it's very old and has a hole drilled in the side where there was once an external fan or something. There's now part of a manila folder taped to the inside of that part of the case to cover the hole. My computer, in other words, has character. It also has a broken faceplate that is held together by a piece of paper that was taped to it even before it was broken. The piece of paper says "Robb 'n Jenn," which is an extremely outdated joke now (at least an extremely dated one; it's one of the reasons I know I got this computer in October).

And not for something (almost) completely different:

"The thing about the Slackware tank ... " Seth was telling me earlier, "Yeah, I know Windows is a station wagon, but, I know how to drive a station wagon! I don't know how to drive a tank. And the Slackware tank has the control panel of a 747, all these buttons and guages ... " He has a point there. Even I was pretty good with the station wagon, but all I can do with my tank is run over things. Tanks make okay bludgeons, but I know this thing is capable of so much more.

Your plans to find love, fortune, and happiness utterly ignore the Second Law Of Thermodynamics.

I love my friends.

Me: You're supposed to find your own people to work for you if you can't, but I tried (long, complicated story, trust me, I tried) and it didn't work. I'll probably have to make up some reason why I have to go home.
Sarah Jean: Say your cat died
Me: Good idea.
Sarah Jean: right
Sarah Jean: Or that your family car died
Me: Oh, I like that one.
Sarah Jean: Or that you need to go home to help with the wheat harvest
Me: That's funny.
Sarah Jean: Even though it is too early for the wheat harvest
Me: It's just so silly, and they probably wouldn't know if I was lying.
Sarah Jean: Or, you could say that some really important person is visiting your farm, like the prime minister of Cambodia, to see american farming methods, and you have to be at home to serve bars

That's just beautiful.

Do you ever think to yourself, "Self, don't you think today was just a waste of clean underwear?"

Me neither.

Josh, Seth and I watched the second installment of the Star Wars trilogy today. I know there are people who will argue that The Empire Strikes Back is the best of the three, but I usually say I like Return of the Jedi best (the rest of the time I go for the original, which has a nice charm brought on by the fact that it doesn't know yet that "it's Star Wars!"). So I may not have seen this movie since ... well, since the last time my friends and I watched the whole trilogy, freshman year. Everybody slept until noon one Saturday and then eight or so people sprawled out on the floor of the room Sarah and I shared, or on my bed, and watched all three movies; there are pictures of some of us sleeping, drooling, flirting, holding empty (root) beer bottles ... it's like a real college party, only without sex or alcohol or drugs.

While remembering all the things that happen in this movie, I'd forgotten a lot of the details, like how silly Yoda is at first, and how evil Darth Vader acts, and how junior high-esque Han and Leia are. I savored it all.

And since Seth and I are such good hosts, it was only maybe half an hour before Seth asked Josh if he wanted anything. Josh seemed happy to hear that we had raspberry lemonade and that we'd baked cookies last night. Seth brought out the container of cookies, Josh took one and told me, "You and Katie should buy eggs more often!" I laughed; knowing he was thinking that he got brownies and now cookies from just that half-dozen eggs we got last week.

I love the BBC. I found this link irresistable: A new theory about the role of the penis during sex. Scientists believe the shape of the penis may have evolved to help men remove the semen of love rivals during sex. Oh. Okay.

They tested their theory in experiments using latex phalluses, an artificial vagina and a mixture of starch and water. How boring of them! I hope they at least told some nasty jokes to make up for it.

They also say they have evidence, from surveys of students, to indicate that sex tends to be more energetic if the women is suspected of cheating, or if the couple has been apart - suggesting a sub-conscious desire on the part of the man to rid his partner of any trace of another's semen. That's silly. If I were apart from someone with whom I was having sex, it'd probably be more energetic when I saw them again anyway. But then, I'm a female, and as such believe there is some emotional component to all this physical stuff anyway; I can't help it.

The idea does have its detractors. I'm not convinced that just because the penis does something like this it was necessarily designed to have that effect. Also does the sexual position matter - I imagine gravity has some role here. Maybe those missionaries knew something about position after all? Gravity. That's funny. I would say "Who thinks about gravity when they're having sex?" but these are people who are doing things with latex and cornstarch, which is already removed enough from reality.