I'm not in Brussels this weekend, like I was last year.

Last year, D and I did not attend FOSDEM but were in the city that same weekend, went to a "fringe" event at the hackspace, met up with people who were attending.

D didn't attend (I might not have anyway, let's be real) specifically because of its poor policies around covid mitigation, and it seems that this year there's been enough of a sea change or critical mass of people put off by how much FOSDEM has outgrown its venue: insufficient public health provisions, talks being overfull before people have a chance of getting in the room, and what sounds like overcrowding to the extent of actual safety concerns around fire or people just getting crushed. I guess it's been described as physically difficult to move around amid all the people.

Someone who was there who we didn't get to hang out with as planned was an online pal of mine, Anna e só. They were a keynote speaker at FOSDEM last year. And while they had a free day at the end of the conference where we'd intended to meet up, they found thsmelf so exhausted by that point that they had to stay in their room and rest that day.

They have contributed to something called #FluConf this year, and I hope their piece gets the huge audience deserves. It's about their experience at FOSDEM last year, and the necessity of moving away from "FOSDEM as the only important conference or the only significant way we can cross paths and find each other."

What they describe in the volunteers being interested in their blindness and their individual experiences when they want to talk about systemic issues is so familiar to me too.

I think their thinking and their writing are so clear, I really admire it. I hope they get what they're calling for.

(Me this morning: never heard of Crowdstrike

Me until this afternoon: assumed Crowdstrike was a video game)

I'm 3/4 of the way through Deb Chachra's excellent How Infrastructure Works, so having a day of people talking about all these systems that are usually so transparent (in that we don't see it) and opaque (in that we don't understand it) just feels like a continuation of the book!

Stories about 999 using paper and pens, and passengers unable to get on planes but empty planes have to fly to get to where they're expected to be next, make a lot more sense in the mindset this book has gotten me in to!

I was too tired yesterday evening to write here, which is a shame because it was a much better mental-health day.

D and I went into town on a pretext, ran a couple of errands (emergency groceries and DVD returning), and had a nice lunch and a couple of pints at a new place in town that has sheltered outdoor seating, which was handy in the drizzle.

Today I assembled a couple of big planters to make more raised beds in the backyard. Even more fruits and vegetables and flowers this year! I am excited. And when D and I went on another errand, this time to the pharmacy, we stopped at a new cocktail place on the way back for very nice (and commensurately expensive) drinks.

Also, D got his old phone usable for me -- he only stopped using it because it wasn't able to run an app that I am not going to run, so it should be fine for me. Since it belonged to him, it has LineageOS on it, which will be new for me but I'm excited about trying it. So far it hasn't been any more difficult to switch to it than it was to switch between two brands of Android in my last phone and my current one. Which is to say that I have to individually download all the apps I want and sign in to everything and so on. My eyes were not at all up to this task tonight, but luckily there's no rush. This phone is getting ridiculous for how often it crashed yesterday just trying to read an article online or look at social media.

I also finally bit the bullet and ordered a work phone on Friday (I'd been putting it off because I hate dealing with the IT people, who are condescending or unhelpful more often than not) so hopefully that will work and hopefully being able to not download the Microsoft apps will make my own phone run better. I never wanted to combine all that stuff in my one phone anyway, so it will be nice to have that separation even if it has taken a lot of annoyance for me to overcome the hurdle of interacting with the IT people.

I forgot that I need to figure out how to find three more days to take off this month, and I also forgot the last Friday will be a bank holiday (it will, it occurs to me now, be Best Friday). There are worse problems to have!

[174/365]

Jun. 23rd, 2021 09:07 pm
[personal profile] diffrentcolours is playing some Star Wars shooty video game and I'm dismayed and angry to learn that I can apparently understand so much of what he's saying. All the names of these fucking spaceships (and some people) I thought had been safely forgotten!

Because I only had a year, maybe even six months, of being obsessed with Star Wars when I was like 15 and there was no other sci-fi novels in the grocery store for me to read, and yet here all that garbage still is?!

When he says "I shouldn't have tried to attack a corvette in a TIE fighter" I should not know what that means. But I do!

Hmph.
Such is the extent of my nerdery that when [personal profile] diffrentcolours asked if I'd seen the link he sent me and I hadn't so he explained it was tomorrow night for the 60th anniversary of Yuri Gagarin's flight. I said that was strange since the anniversary would actually be today -- displaying now just an unsurprising mastery of early spaceflight trivia but a truly uncharacteristic grasp on what the date is.

He said "oh maybe it's tonight then." I said "maybe I remembered it wrong." Surely he's more likely to know the date of an event he just looked at than I am of precisely when a human first flew into space.

But, no I was right.i think I actually know this particular bit of trivia from Public Service Broadcasting -- one of the unexpected bonuses of them using clips of archive reporting is that you can learn a lot if you listen to bits of newscast as avidly as you listen to songs you love, and their "Gagarin" is definitely a song I love.

So we watched "Yuri's Night" from the National Space Centre tonight while we ate the burgers I made for dinner (I feel like we have burgers all the time but they're tasty and they're one of the easiest things I can make when, for example, I went to lie down after work and felt worse when in got up than I had before). And really they said very little about Yuri Gagarin and could've held this on any night, heh. But it was a nice idea, and fun to watch space nerds getting all excited about astronauts and Artemis and the sky cranes on Mars and whatnot.
Tonight I joined #SaveTheDay on birdsite, watching Day of the Doctor simultaneously with all sorts of other people.

I'm utterly charmed by the idea of everyone tweeting "Contact" at the same time (as we all started the show). I think it's one of the most powerfully dramatic things Doctor Who does, and especially when I'm lacking contact with almost everyone it feels extra special.

It was so much fun. Virtual and online things really are no fucking substitute for being around humans, but they do help more than I think they will. Very few of my Who-watching friends are local anyway, so this kind of thing seems normal enough to me; I think that helped this seem like a treat and not something I had to settle for.

Andrew arranged for us to get takeaway pizza soon after it started too. He's making a point of trying to make little things like this special for me. He knows how very difficult I'm finding isolation (and the uncertainty about the future generally) and he's being very deliberate in his attempts to cheer me up, which is sweet.

I spent the rest of the day in the depressive funk I knew was coming: after a few days of behaving like I do when I'm most depressed, my brain seems to have recognized this as a suitable cause as well as an effect of depression. I haven't been great at routine and exercise and healthy meals and all those sort of things anyway, but today I didn't even bother expecting myself to do any of those things and I don't really care that I didn't manage any of them, which is new.

So yeah it was nice to end the day on a high note. Andrew and I had been talking about watching the first Jodie Whittaker series, which he hasn't seen and I haven't seen since first broadcast, and I asked some of our friends who joined in tonight if they'd like to join us for a bit more Who. It is nicer to share it with people. So maybe we'll start that in a couple days.

[24/366]

Jan. 24th, 2020 09:36 pm
Andrew went to bed early last night, I got the dog settled down, I didn't even have an alarm set for this morning, I looked forward to lots of delicious sleep.

And then, unusually for me, I couldn't sleep. I'm prone to insomnia, but normally it's the kind where you wake up too early, not the kind where you have trouble going to sleep. I gave up after an hour and a half, went downstairs, started some laundry (thinking that even if I didn't stay awake long enough to hang it up before I went back to bed, it was worth doing), worked on another essay. I actually made really good progress on the nearly-done one and hoped I'd be able to hand it in today.

But then I went to bed after five, woke up before eight... No reason, Andrew and Gary still sleeping peacefully, my brain just decided I was done sleeping.

So today didn't go to plan; we'd wanted to go see Knives Out again (with the commentary!) and that didn't happen, nor did my essay. I even tried to take a nap and couldn't even manage to fall asleep despite how tired I was.

I did however take Gary to get his nails clipped, which as always he hated but as always [personal profile] mother_bones and [personal profile] diffrentcolours have perfected to make it as quick as possible, to minimize the trauma and exhaustion for all concerned. As Gary sulked and hid his feet (he always does this afterwards, as if we'd get the idea to torture him some more if we caught sight of his feet), we humans watched the last two episodes of The Good Place (I'd seen them, but they hadn't) and the first episode of Picard, which we all enjoyed.

I'd been wary of it, as someone for whom TNG was "my" Star Trek and I'd always adored Patrick Stewart in it so it seemed very possible that I'd hate this (even though I now don't think much of TNG either), but for all those reasons I'd wanted to at least try it out and I'll definitely be watching more of it.

Not tonight though; I'm off to bed! Hopefully if I go to sleep early and get up early I can hand in this essay before we go out to play board games in the evening.
12 Have you ever had a “crush” on a fictional character?

I'm watching one right now: since [personal profile] diffrentcolours hadn't seen the last series of Peter Capaldi Doctor Who, so we're watching an episode now before the new Doctor Who is on. I don't normally fancy the Doctor but I liked that one. We're watching the haunted house episode; it's good.

--

Had a nice day. I'd been feeling really...stuck this week: couldn't do my work, couldn't enjoy anything else (I couldn't stand silence or any piece of music I could think of, I picked up about five different books the night before last and couldn't concentrate on any of them) and getting out of the house last night seemed to help.

D introduced me as Cosmo to his friends we met up with at the gig, and I surprised myself by just being utterly delighted that they just (of course, as anyone should) treated this as no big deal, said "nice to meet you Cosmo" and "so Cosmo where do you live" and normal small-talk stuff like that, not knowing that no one had ever done this before. I had assumed that no one was likely to use the name since everyone's in the habit of calling me Holly and that's still my name so it's fine but I'd worried that if anyone did call me Cosmo I'd be awkward and weird in response but I don't think I was. I didn't feel those things anyway, and that was a nice surprise. Thinking about it, it probably helped that it was people who didn't know me; I imagine it'll be more awkward when/if it's people I know. But it felt really good so that'll be worth it, I reckon.

I'd been awake since 4am (thanks, insomnia!) so I was practically falling asleep during the gig despite it being crowded and noisy, so when we left I thought I was excited to go home but when D asked if I'd like to do that or go somewhere for a drink I said I was fine either way so we ended up walking in the direction of buses and ended up at the Thirsty Scholar. We had a drink, outside under the railway arch so out of the rain and welcomely cool after the stuffiness of the gig. We had a nice pint but it was so good my intention of being out for literally a drink turned into the British definition of "a drink": we drank the pub dry of Creme Bearlee (not that that took much! two pints each) and had a Weinstephaner each before we actually headed home via the Spar so D get Irn Bru and onion bhajis.

Debating that third drink, I happened to notice a sign for the place we went to (well, the first place we went to) that night we got really drunk and ended up, by the time some drunken strangers asked us if we were a couple, deciding on "...yes?" as the most accurate answer to the conversations we'd just been having. It seems like such a weird question to drunkenly ask some strangers but we were probably giving off some weird body-language vibes, our relationship being caught mid-transformation like that. Had we been out drinking like that since? I don't think we had. It's rare for us to have the opportunity and the lack of upcoming responsibility, and while we see and talk to each other all the time, there's something particular to these kinds of nights out, being a measured amount of irresponsible in trusted company, that isn't quite like any other way of spending time together.

Today was quiet -- I didn't have the hangover that I'd expected, but I had the kind of day I would've had with one anyway: slept in, bimbled to shops, made soup, worked on an essay... It all seemed to help, I got home feeling much less stuck. Hopefully able to do a terrifying amount of work on those essays in the next few days! Deadlines are perilously near now.

265/365

Sep. 22nd, 2019 07:01 pm
Things I did at work today (in chronological order):

1) normal work stuff
2) another rant about how everyone should know the IPA.

Oops. Heh. Maybe I am ready to go back to uni after all,

Good thing too since I have to do that tomorrow.
Andrew and I made the concerted effort necessary these days to go out somewhere for fun at the same time, and he deferred to my choice of movie that's on at the cinema: Apollo 11.

For once I was the one doing the splaining on the way home on the bus, and Andrew could only get a word in edgewise when he told me a bit of 60s-music trivia about a Monkees connection. And I asked him about computers, because I read this the other day.

I've read so much about early NASA lately. As well as all the articles about the fiftieth anniversary of the first Moon landing, I let the date influence the Audible book I got last month, In the Shadow of the Moon, which I'm still working on. I'm up to about Apollo 7 now.
On Mastodon, I just saw someone I don't know wish someone else I don't know a happy birthday. And now I wish it was my birthday because my present today would be everyone talking about the moon as much as I think about the moon all the time.

Today I've listened to a podcast called Revisiting Apollo 11, which is only five short episodes and I really recommend it.
The Doctor is a traveller in time and space.
my friend Alex writes. So far, so totally normal for me. I've been hearing about Doctor Who since my second visit to the UK started the week after the show re-started in 2005 (and I got to watch "Rose" because the friend I was staying with had taped it on her VCR; that's how long ago 2005 is).

But then!
She goes anywhere she likes...
Now that did something to me. Like going to gigs to listen to Stuart's otherwise-all-female band, like watching new Ghostbusters or Ocean's Eight or Wonder Woman. I never adequately take into account how affecting I find it when men are not the default. As the least feeling-like-a-woman of all the women I know, I never expect seeing women as main characters will make feel any different but it absolutely does.

And I feel that same kind of way -- somehow more excited and more settled at the same time -- when I read a paragraph calling this character "she." In all the time I've been in the UK, I've been hearing about the Doctor, but I'd never heard the Doctor called "she" before. And he wasn't just talking about characteristics of this Doctor -- she's blonde, she has a West Yorkshire accent -- Alex was saying this about traits that'd always been associated with the Doctor.
She goes anywhere she likes, from Earth’s past, present and future to alien worlds and stranger places still. She respects life rather than authority, and obeys no-one else’s rules. She lives by her own joy in exploring new places and times, and by her own moral sense to fight oppression. She prefers to use her intelligence rather than violence, and she takes friends with her to explore the wonders of the Universe.
I shared Alex's post in a tweet where I tried to cram in what a big deal the she/her pronouns were for me, and when he saw it he was good enough to share a bit of the thinking that'd gone into what he'd written about this.
I always wanted to do the Doctor as 'she' because all the versions have been simply about the current one. I did think carefully about 'they' for the Doctors in general, but we're always talking about the current one as if she's all of them, because she is, so why change that?
Some friends of mine had a thoughtful discussion about this, particularly about "they," after we saw the first episode last Sunday night. I found myself instinctively reacting against "they," for reasons I couldn't articulate, but other people could manage it and what they said definitely resonated.

In the case of a Doctor, a single person who keeps changing bodies, the "they" could add some confusion if it's mistaken for a plural -- all those faces. "They" could also sound like the compromise of someone who's not quite on board with the (bizarrely contentious) notion of a woman being the Doctor. And most importantly of all, the Doctor has never, in any of her incarnations, expressed any indication of being non-binary or using they pronouns. She seems surprised but not misgendered when Yaz calls her a woman, and later refers to the clothes she needs to buy as "women's clothes."

Alex included several quotes in his blog post, from "Doctor Who people" as he calls them -- writers, the current and previous Doctors, etc. Alex changed the pronouns in the quotes [all but Verity Lambert's, which is definitely about the First Doctor] and he told me,
I decided they were the exact quotes even when I was changing them, and took especial license (and pleasure) with Terrance Dicks' words because I suspect he'd disapprove.
And some of the differences were about more than pronouns. One bit of that Terrance Dicks quote now reads "The Doctor believes in good and fights evil. Though often caught up in violent situations, she is someone of peace. She is never cruel or cowardly." And about this Alex said the loveliest thing of all:
It was difficult because it was the only bit where I had to do more than change the he and him: "he is a man of peace." I chiselled at that for a while: "a woman of peace" didn't scan for me, "person" for the same reason and also ducking the gender, and so on. I left it highlighted and came back later with "someone of peace," which isn't quite right, but seemed to have the same flow saying it aloud, and I felt that was important, like translating poetry.
There's more I could say about this Doctor now that we've seen her first story, but what was meant to be a little aside/introduction about her pronouns has grown into so many words I don't want to add any more to it, so maybe I'll write about the episode another time. Maybe even before there's another one! But maybe not.
I know I talked at the time about helping [personal profile] miss_s_b with her podfic by being one of the voices for it, but I can't find the entry now.

Anyway, that's a thing I did and it was super-fun and now you can listen to it here!

The fandoms involved are Doctor Who, Miss Marple and Murder She Wrote, which I'd think would be irresistible as a combination... But even if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea you might like this because it's very accessible, doesn't depend on knowing more than the broadest brushes of the characters, and it remains very sweet while drawing attention to the aspects of a "cozy mystery" that shouldn't be cozy at all.

I know I'm biased because Jennie's great and it was really fun to record a voice for this (it has an American character, so she asked me as local American), but I really think it came out wonderfully. I listened to it on a bus on my way to a meeting I didn't want to go to and was much more cheerful by the time I got there.

The written version of the story is also at the link for people who don't want an audio version.

Voyager

Aug. 3rd, 2017 04:01 pm
Send a message to Voyager!

Only sixty characters, though! I have way too many feelings about Voyager and the spaceflight and discoveries I grew up with to even begin to know what to say.

And I'm sure they'll pick something bland and vague and PR-friendly like "Keep reaching for the stars!" But it won't stop me using this as an interesting prompt myself!
At first I was frustrated that the initial excitement about the new Doctor is so long before we'll see anything more of her. Still got my beloved Capaldi at Christmas, and then a year off...

But an internet friend has written a Thirteenth Doctor story, and he says "I wanted to write the Doctor as I wanted her to be rather than predict the one we'll see on TV." And I realized that I'm glad we have a year am a half to write her as we want her to be before all my reservations about the writing and directing of the TV show have to kick in. I know good writers, and no doubt there are many more, who I don't have to have such reservations about.

And now I'm glad of all that time.

The story is very good. It's called "Be Afraid" and you can read it here.
Honestly the thing I want to do now is watch the finale knowing the new Doctor isn't another white man. Because I watched that with such trepidation that when it finished and James asked me what I thought of it, I said I liked it but then just went on to be really pessimistic about the breadcrumbs towards a woman playing the Doctor.

I absolutely didn't trust this show not to give me another white man, and I surprised myself with how incapable I was of getting my hopes up. And my guardedness really dampened my ability to enjoy or even evaluate the last episode.

It'll be interesting to watch it again and see if what I feel about it changes. Where's my DVD box set already?! (I want to watch most of this season again, and have ever since I finished watching the episodes the first time.)
So [personal profile] miss_s_b sorta hinted at wanting a Six/Evelyn story (her favorite Doctor, my favorite companion (and one of her favorites too but I'm less sure it has the top spot for her than I am for me)) fluff...

...and because I do love Evelyn so much and there are never enough stories about her, this was sufficient for me to want to write something. Especially for such an appreciative audience as would be, if I got it right.

But, I'm no good at fiction. I can never come up with ideas (it's why I have no problem blogging: this's just about stuff that's actually happened to me!). What could I do that'd be worthy of such beloved characters?

Since Andrew's out of the house tonight, I was with the Hamilton soundtrack without headphones, loud. (I was also vacuuming, these being two thing Andrew can't tolerate when he's in the house so I have to save them for when he's not. I know how to enjoy my rare evenings home alone, oh yes.)

So naturally I thought What would Evelyn the historian think of Hamilton? Other than that it's Not Her Period, of course... There is already a Six/Evelyn American-history story (it's a theatrical story, even!), and it's a good one -- Assassin in the Limelight -- but still.

Oh man. I just realized that such a story might be a really good home for [personal profile] po8crg's idea that Britain calling it "the American War of Independence" is arguably racist/white-supremacist... Now I wanna write this even more.
Here's a picture from Tumblr:

Here's the words in it, in case the picture (which I only saw on facebook anyway because I can't work Tumblr) disappears or in case other people also can't follow Tumblr conversations very well:
[tumblr.com profile] ethanwearsprada: i think it's a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto's losing its planetary status as a personal offense

[tumblr.com profile] crackerhell: yes

[tumblr.com profile] cell-mate: pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

[somebody whose username has been truncated from the screenshot]: BECAUSE IT'S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

FAMILY MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND
To which I can only say this:

People tell entirely the wrong story about Pluto.

It's the ugly duckling, all right? Awkward and different from the other planets, tiny and literally on a different plane of existence. It's now been recognized as one of the Kuiper Belt Objects, and is now part of a family of things like itself, some of which we've given names to and some we don't even know about yet.

Pluto is the ultimate square peg asked to fit in a round hole, Pluto should be the poster planet for the queers and freaks and weirdos and people who never felt they fit in with the mainstream and had to look to the unknown and uncelebrated to find their peers.

C'mon, Tumblr, you should love this story.
So it turns out 70s TV The Incredible Hulk is a thing.

James and I are watching it and he says "I love how he turns into the Hulk when he gets 'angry or outraged.' "

"Good thing they didn't have Twitter then," I said.

"I was gonna say: 'Damn, someone's been misgendered!...oh shit. I really liked that shirt...' "

I then imagined a comic or something about Hulk spending his evenings mending shirts, thinking to himself "this is the one where [twitter.com profile] DHLinton got called 'a fucking feminatzi' and they thought there was a t in the middle of the word 'nazi'...this was the one I was wearing when I learned that Chibnall got the Doctor Who job, this one is where England lost three wickets in the time it took me to eat breakfast..."

The possibilities are endless.
me: I've already been "doctor-who-fan-splained" at this morning, which was entertaining. Apparently I'm wrong cos I'm not "a life-long fan since episode 1" like this guy is. Of course he's called Andrew, too. [I included this because it amused me, having listened to Andrew -- the usual one -- and James talk about different things that one or both of them liked (TV, bands, films) all of which seemed to have exhaustive books published on them by someone who was disproportionately-often called Andrew.]

[personal profile] magister So what were you wrong about?

me: My jokey thing about how Time Peers is a better name for them than Time Lords cos it's gender-neutral. Apparently Time Lords is already neutral because the inquisitor in Trial of a Time Lord, etc.etc. yawn. But then I reminded him that Missy corrected someone the other week who called her a Time Lord and Romana calls herself a Time Lady too.

me: He especially irked me cos the original post was my friend Chella saying "I would love to play The Doctor one day, but as long as Moffatt is in charge, I'll automatically be cast as one of his interchangeable pointy-faced older brunette nemesis crone vixens." Whether that's fair or not, it's clear women need progress among human writers of Who at least as much as we need in-story progress among Gallifreyans. But I don't think the Andrew could understand that.

[personal profile] magister Don't think the Inquisitor is ever referred to as either time lord or time lady - not sure it's ever specified one way or the other. Anyway, it's 6 years into the programme before the term time lord appears and then another 9 years before you see one who isn't male, so not sure what difference watching since 1963 makes.

me: Andrew said too that he didn't think she was ever called a time lord or lady. I think it's telling that this other Andrew just assumed/remembers it that way.

[personal profile] magister Yeah. There's nothing to disprove his theory, therefore he assumes it supports him.

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