[21/366] books and anniversary

[cosmolinguist]

21 What genre of books is your usual favorite when you read for pleasure?

Almost exclusively non-fiction. Right now I'm reading some ancient history, and biographies of Leonardo da Vinci and Alexander von Humboldt.

--

I've been really manic and completely unable to concentrate today, for which I think I have last night's migraine to thank.

I'm plodding away on essays, still so slowly that it feels like I'm never going to be done with them. Meanwhile the next semester encroaches: today I arranged the "orientation" "support" because even in my last semester I have about five new rooms I need to find.

Today's me and Andrew's anniversary and, well, I don't know of anyone else who hates their wedding anniversary without hating the fact that they're married. It happened less than two months after my brother died, so I don't have good memories of it -- I don't mean good in content, I mean good in quality: my brain just wasn't very good at making memories for months, which is clearly a coping mechanism but it also makes my first year of marriage or so a kinda surreal time. One of the few things I do remember is my mom crying all day, and not like the mother of the bride normally cries at weddings.

Plus, the joy of being an immigrant on a spouse visa meant this time of year involved the hoops I had to jump through to get into and then stay in the same country as Andrew; I remember wandering fairly aimlessly wandering around Chicago (where we had to get the visa) trying to fix a bureaucratic problem getting the visa. I remember taking my Life in the UK Test not long before Christmas, one of those times of year here when it's dark all the time.

Comments

[annofowlshire]

Many sympathies on the spouse visa hoop-jumping, having done it myself. I did the fiancee visa to the UK (after my partner’s work visa ended, and we hadn’t had any luck securing him a new one), and then I’ve done the marriage one twice.

I swear no matter what I do and how much I over-prepare, there’s some hang up or another. The last time I renewed it, they changed the process—twice!—in the time frame I going through it, which technically led to me overrunning my stay, and I had a 7 month old baby who only has British citizenship* and I was so worried we’d get separated. I was biting my nails.

(*I haven’t sorted out his US citizenship yet because I’m getting conflicting information about what I need to provide and other things took priority...)

[cosmolinguist]

I sympathize so much with having to deal with how much it changes and how expensive it is, and when the stakes are so high it's unbelievably stressful.

[annofowlshire]

People are seriously shocked when I tell them how much it costs us every 30 months (before the NHS surcharge).

Next round I should be eligible for ILR (and a year or so later, citizenship), ...at least under the current rules. *sigh*

[cosmolinguist]

Yes I find the cost a really effective place to start when I want to explain how cruel and arbitrary the system is.

[strange_complex]

Right now I'm reading some ancient history

Good choice! What are you reading about?

I won't say happy anniversary, because that's obviously not appropriate in your case, but I do congratulate you on the being-married milestone.

[cosmolinguist]

It's a fairly generic one from Audible, about Egypt and Sumeria and China and stuff like that. Little bit of Greece. Not modern enough yet for Romans, but I think it will get there.

[strange_complex]

Sounds lovely, though, and you have the best stuff yet to come! ;-p

[barakta]

I am sorry that your wedding has very sad and difficult not-even-made-memories for you, which sounds like a very normal grieving response, but difficult and stressful.

I hope you can find another date to celebrate the loveliness of you and Andrew's relationship which has better connotations. The immigration system is shit and actively evil.

[otter]

I would have said pretty much ^^ What they said.

Adding that mania sucks. Trying to accomplish something I"m SUPPOSED To be doing when manic is a trick, to be sure. I hope things mellow soon.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah it's really rare for me, normally I'm just depressive and I've been nearly catatonic lately. Like I say, it feels like the migraine screwed up my brain chemistry in this respect. Luckily it seems to have calmed down a bit already.

[azurelunatic]

Anniversaries of trauma tend to drown out anniversaries of joy. Unfortunately.

[silveradept]

That sounds like a mess of terrible memories around something that is theoretically supposed to be happy. I hope you have an actual day to celebrate the happy things at some other time of the year.