[2/366] autobigraphy
Jan. 2nd, 2020 09:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cosmolinguist2 What would be the first sentence of your autobiography?
Well, to the extent that the book proposal I used to crowdfund my citizenship fees (I still never finished it, but I haven't forgotten it!) is an autobiography, and it kind of is...
It starts with "This was never meant to be a book." I certainly never meant to be a lot of the things I am, so I am happy to claim it as having deeper resonance!
--
Not much else to talk about today. I'm still stuck in an anxiety loop, with so much to do I can't do any of it. But I've finished my reading (uh, maybe...mostly, anyway! I've recently realized I've had to change the subject, but hopefully only slightly so all the reading I have done will still be useful) for one essay and made an outline. We were given such broad instructions for this one that just narrowing down a subject has taken a lot of work and stress so it feels like a huge accomplishment to have gotten this far.
But my physical anxiety symptoms have been through the roof, and progress has been very slow. Hopefully I'll be well enough to go to Currybeer tomorrow, and Andrew and I have vague plans to see Knives Out on Saturday.
And I plan to go back to work on Sunday. I've let myself have this entire week off before I go back, figuring the guilt imbued by my Protestant-work-ethic parents, and at leaving someone without necessary help for even longer, would be less hard on me than dragging my ass to work when both my anxiety and depression are hitting me so hard. I think I made the right choice, but I knew that I was choosing between two very un-fun options, so it's no surprise that the result has not been fun at all.
Well, to the extent that the book proposal I used to crowdfund my citizenship fees (I still never finished it, but I haven't forgotten it!) is an autobiography, and it kind of is...
It starts with "This was never meant to be a book." I certainly never meant to be a lot of the things I am, so I am happy to claim it as having deeper resonance!
--
Not much else to talk about today. I'm still stuck in an anxiety loop, with so much to do I can't do any of it. But I've finished my reading (uh, maybe...mostly, anyway! I've recently realized I've had to change the subject, but hopefully only slightly so all the reading I have done will still be useful) for one essay and made an outline. We were given such broad instructions for this one that just narrowing down a subject has taken a lot of work and stress so it feels like a huge accomplishment to have gotten this far.
But my physical anxiety symptoms have been through the roof, and progress has been very slow. Hopefully I'll be well enough to go to Currybeer tomorrow, and Andrew and I have vague plans to see Knives Out on Saturday.
And I plan to go back to work on Sunday. I've let myself have this entire week off before I go back, figuring the guilt imbued by my Protestant-work-ethic parents, and at leaving someone without necessary help for even longer, would be less hard on me than dragging my ass to work when both my anxiety and depression are hitting me so hard. I think I made the right choice, but I knew that I was choosing between two very un-fun options, so it's no surprise that the result has not been fun at all.
In memeoriam
Date: 2020-01-03 09:08 am (UTC)Re: In memeoriam
Date: 2020-01-03 05:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-04 08:33 pm (UTC)Also, go you for choosing the lesser of the bad choices. It still is terrible that it is a bad choice, but putting yourself through less misery is good.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-01-05 01:08 pm (UTC)Lots and lots of sympathy with this. x