That dress

[cosmolinguist]

"What are you giggling at?" Andrew asked me.

"Oh, my friend's sent me this thing about Minnesota mothers," I said.

"I can see how that would make you laugh."

"It's one of those things that should be regarded as a fairly lame attempt at a particular kind of over-the-top pastiche caricature, but---"

"But it's about your mum."

"It's about my whole family!"

From Why Minnesota Mothers are Doing Pretty Good

Minnesota parents can get away with things that other parents can't. Once when I was young—maybe more than once—when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily went to the basement to look for something for over two hours without coming back upstairs. I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done. But neither I, nor anyone else ever spoke of it ever again.

Minnesota mothers can say to their daughters, "Oh, you're going to wear that dress?" By contrast, other parents have to directly address the issue, talking in terms of "sluttiness."

If a Minnesota child gets a B, well, good for them! Room for improvement.

Other parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. Minnesota parents would surely do this too if we knew anything about the passions or feelings of our children.

Here's a story in favor of niceness, Minnesota-style: Aunt Lena is about 84, still using the restroom and driving by herself. She was a real firebrand. After she lost Ole, her husband of 61 years, we were over at her house for meatloaf. It had been just a month and we were worried about how she was coping, alone in an old farmhouse far from anyone else.

In the middle of ice cream, Lena became very quiet and looked as though she was going to cry. I immediately mentioned how we were supposed to get some snow by Friday, but that I wasn't sure if it was going to be three or five inches. Lena clicked on the local news, and, wouldn't you know it, we caught the end-of-program forecast. It was five inches. And we got to talking about if it would be wet and heavy or the good light stuff we've been getting lately which is really easy to sweep and not much of a hardship at all, in fact, it makes it nice to get out there and get some exercise, especially if the wind isn't blowing.

Even my husband Carl gave me credit for that one. Without nice, Lena would have had to face her crushing grief in front of us. Thanks to the Minnesota style, Lena was able to avoid an embarrassing expression of her emotions.

Don't get me wrong: It's not that Minnesota parents don't care about their children. Just the opposite. They would sacrifice anything for their children, even if it was out of their way and they weren't already sacrificing something anyway. That's just who we are.