Stones

[cosmolinguist]

I feel ... flattened under all these things. Like that guy who was pressed to death (such an ominous phrase!) for being a witch: they put big rocks on him. Not just one massive boulder that squished him in one go, but several separate weights, which would give him time to notice and think about each new one as they were crushing him. It took two days.

It'll take much longer in my case: my mom's using pebbles, mostly. Perhaps they can be measured, like hailstones, in terms of sporting equipment and fruit.

The one labelled wedding dress is officially been shoved off now (and that was a pretty big one, basketball-sized at least), the weight on my chest doesn't seem much lighter. Even though we're getting down to, oh, grapefruit-sized or so: invitations, shoes, potential shower gifts, cake topper ("Do you like this one?" "I don't want a cake topper!" "Oh. Do you like this one?" "No! That thing's ugly!" "Oh, sorry! You know what would be nice? One of those Precious Moments—" "NO! No. Absolutely not. Not at my wedding.") ... there are so many of them.

And even the small stones aren't really painless. Ask anyone who's had a gallstone!

I lay on the couch tonight, reading a book and thinking about how much nicer it'd be to be able to lie with my head in Andrew's lap instead as I tell him how my mom is driving me crazy and hear him smirking at me (I wouldn't have to look to know he'd be smirking).

Mostly I'm okay with him being so far away; I don't like it, but I know it's temporary and I can deal with it. But I'd like to be able to cheat every now and then: to have even a few seconds where I could grab his hand, or smile and know he could see it, or feel his arm flop onto my stomach when I'm half awake in the morning. Nothing extravagant.

Comments

[toastedtuna.livejournal.com]

And even the small stones aren't really painless. Ask anyone who's had a gallstone!

Or a kidney stone!


It will be over before you know it. Just hang in there, and don't give in! If you don't like something, you don't like it, and that's just how it has to be!

[bratjuice.livejournal.com]

Hang in there, Holly. You'll be with each other in the end, and that's worth a thousand more boulders (and some pebbles) that you have to go through.

[cosmolinguist]

You're right. I fear I make all this sound worse than it is by complaining so frequently and vehemently in my LiveJournal.

oh no

[zammis.livejournal.com]

that's what you're supposed to do. :)

I still say you can use Vegas as a "nuclear option" to shut her up if she gets too ornery, but as I don't speak Minnesotan I'm not sure if that would be a hanging offense. :)

[cosmolinguist]

So many things about this comment made me laugh (I think "vegas as a nuclear option" might end up among my LJ interests now...); that is why I like LiveJournal. It allows my friends to keep me from going completely crazy.