Between two artics

[cosmolinguist]

The plan for today was to leave early, drive the four hours back to Manchester, and unload the van at angelofthenorth's flat.

I planned to be home by mid-afternoon. I was planning to make dinner, and I hoped to be back soon enough and with enough energy left over to walk Teddy at the usual kind of time, 4 or 5 in the afternoon.

We checked out of the hotel at 8, went for breakfast at the Starbucks in the Travelodge parking lot, and got on the road maybe half an hour later.

We'd just gotten out of town and on an A road/highway, I was just thinking about texting a quick "on our way!" for V and D to wake up to, but before I could fish my phone out of the pocket trapped by the seatbelt, I heard a big long blast on a big horn behind us, coming closer to us, and then I saw the side mirror on the door next to me explode. I heard and felt the door next to me scrape against a big truck.

Our van had been overtaking a slow-moving milk tanker, in an orderly fashion behind two other cars doing the same thing. A semi/lorry that had seemed very far back suddenly wasn't, it was squishing us between it and the tanker, which was what damaged the mirror and only very slightly scratched the door I was sitting just inside.

I said that I'm very glad that the amount of my parents' children who've died in car crashes is still only 50%.

The van was being driven by a friend of angelofthenorth's who has rented lots of vans, used to drive one for Argos, and was a very careful driver. He is a retired cop, so when we made it to a nearby lay-by/rest area, he called the rental company to report the accident, he described it very calmly and precisely, in slightly more technical terms than the lady on the other end was expecting. He said he hadn't been in an accident himself since 1990something, but all his skills were clearly there from the many other incidents he'd called in like this.

The van wasn't badly damaged but wasn't safe to drive without the passenger side (he called it near side) mirror, and indicator/blinkers on that side too. (It hadn't actually exploded but all these things were hanging by the wires from the damaged housing.) So we had to call AA too, and wait for them to be able to send something big enough to haul a loaded Peugeot Boxer van.

The accident happened a couple minutes before 9am. After having been told "before 12.20," 11.40, 11.45 and 12.45, a nice man with a big yellow AA truck pulled ahead of us at 12.50, eliciting such cheers from the other two (who of course recognized it more quickly than I could) that I jumped a little.

We had to wait in the lay-by not far from where we'd set off, for a length of time that should've gotten us basically back to Manchester (minus stops to pee/get lunch/etc.). We were waiting there so long that angelofthenorth's blood sugar was a worry, but luckily it remained okay.

The AA man was efficient, and it was a little bit exciting to get to ride in the back of his truck, which had such high steps that it reminded me of getting into tractors. He got us to the place he was told to take us which would have arranged to swap our van for another one, but it was closed. We were also coming up on, and then quickly past, the time this poor guy was supposed to finish his shift, and his commitment to not abandoning us and our burdened van on a street somewhere in Swansea was coming up against not only the end of his shift but the end of the time he'd be safe to drive.

The looming fact that it was Friday suddenly loomed into relevance. The AA driver talked a lot about places closing early on a Friday, and already mid-afternoon I was seeing queues of traffic in Swansea as he drove us around. I hadn't expected we'd have to deal with Friday rush hour traffic of course!

Way too many frustrations, shenanigans and phone calls ensued. I'll spare you the grumbling and details but we eventually had the chance to use a toilet, have access to a new van, and swap everything from the broken one to the new one (which while not ideal left me a little reassured by exactly what and how difficult it'd be to get it all into angelofthenorth's flat: before this, it'd been difficult for me to mentally separate what actually went in the van from the much greater amount of work I'd ended up doing in the sliding tile puzzle of moving things out of but then back into the storage containers).

Finally, we could set off. It was 3.45. Manchester was still four hours away. At this point, we determined that the best thing to do would be just to get home tonight, and unload the van early in the morning before it was due to be returned at noon.

And a little more because we stopped for food in Abergavenny around 5, and maybe because this new van was limited to only going 60mph so we didn't benefit from the motorway/freeway driving as much as we might have.

I got home about 9.15pm, after an otherwise uneventful trip back.

Early start tomorrow. I've never been so happy to be in my own house, hugged by my humans, and now in bed.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

Holy shit that's a story you'll tell in twenty years.

Your Vantablack humor is appreciated, and probably ou won't be detailing this to your parents.

I'm so glad you had such a level-headed driver and you managed to get home before midnight.

[barakta]

Yikes, scary stuff and WTF British Drivers! I am glad your van-driver was experienced and calm and it was only minor damage. Just waiting round is TIRING, so I'm glad you were able to tweak plans.

Good luck for unloading tomorrow.

[wildeabandon]

Oof. That sounds a lot more exciting than helping someone move ought to be. I'm glad you all got home okay in the end.

[otter]

If ever there was a place for black humor, that is it. I'm glad you made it home after that WAY TOO MUCH adventure.