I think you and I are indeed approaching this differently. We're looking at it from different perspectives; yours seems to be "the aftermath of making the relationship physical" and mine is "the relationship with no interest in getting physical."
I've had male friends with whom I have never and probably will never want to have sex. And I don't think those relationships are incomplete without sex, or damaged by the omission of sex. Just as I don't see myself having sex with any of my female friends, and don't think I'm missing anything there. This view does not seem incompatible with your "it could be bad to have sex with your friends" position; I agree with all the things you said here.
But I don't know if that's his point, since I don't think he means that sex would actually have to take place to "get in the way." I think he's saying that it's impossible for men (again, I don't know if this is true for real men, I'm just saying what he said) to be friends with women without having the ulterior motive of wanting to sleep with them, and I just do not believe that is true.
I totally agree with not wanting to have sex with some of your male friends. There are some male friends of mine that I just feel absolutely NO spark with, but enjoy their company.
For that reason, I find it hard to believe that every single male would have ulterior motives with every single one of their female friendships. But, it does make sense that that might have been what Harry was trying to convey in the movie. Still, I don't think it's very true. And even though what I wrote might not have necessarily been what he was trying to say, I still believe it to be true. :)
And it's nice to know someone else also agrees with me. :)
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cosmolinguist
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-16 05:09 pm (UTC)I've had male friends with whom I have never and probably will never want to have sex. And I don't think those relationships are incomplete without sex, or damaged by the omission of sex. Just as I don't see myself having sex with any of my female friends, and don't think I'm missing anything there. This view does not seem incompatible with your "it could be bad to have sex with your friends" position; I agree with all the things you said here.
But I don't know if that's his point, since I don't think he means that sex would actually have to take place to "get in the way." I think he's saying that it's impossible for men (again, I don't know if this is true for real men, I'm just saying what he said) to be friends with women without having the ulterior motive of wanting to sleep with them, and I just do not believe that is true.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-04-16 09:52 pm (UTC)For that reason, I find it hard to believe that every single male would have ulterior motives with every single one of their female friendships. But, it does make sense that that might have been what Harry was trying to convey in the movie. Still, I don't think it's very true. And even though what I wrote might not have necessarily been what he was trying to say, I still believe it to be true. :)
And it's nice to know someone else also agrees with me. :)