Things I want to write about

[cosmolinguist]

• Coming out, and reactions to it that are worse than you think.
• Britishness, Englishness and the Life in the UK test.
• How to be a worthwhile human even when you're not being "productive"
  
  • especially "...in gainful employment"

Too tired, though.   Too goddam tired, all the time.

Comments

[magister]

Should you find the energy, I'd be interested in reading all of those. Having started a new job, the decision of when and how to come out is one I'm thinking about a lot. The LUK test is something I used to have a professional interest in. As for being or not being productive - there are times when I'm certain that I'd be better off giving up on the idea of having a steady job. What I'd do instead, I've no idea.

[sfred]

*cuddles*
I look forward to reading whatever and whenever you write. Sorry you're so tired.

[cosmolinguist]

::cuddles:: I've got today off, and slept a lot. Hope that helps.

[marjory.livejournal.com]

The Life in the UK tests unnerve me. A lot of the time, I scarcely scrape through the exemplars in The Guardian, so I wonder whether I should be here!

[cosmolinguist]

They unnerve me much more than that, but the versions in the Guardian are one of many things I want to talk about; I think you're in good company.

[marjory.livejournal.com]

I have just taken the UK Citizenship practice test, sight unseen, and I failed. 14/24 from mostly cruising by on general knowledge. Maybe with a thorough perusal of the study guide, I would be allowed to stay, but I'm not sure how my ability to memorise some truly niggly multiple choice questions would make me a better citizen.

E.g. children aged 13-16 can only work for 12 hours a week. The other option given was 10. An awful lot of the questions were of this nature and to do with benefit-eligibility. What ever can they be driving at?!

I did the Guardian History one yesterday and passed (phew!). I have a degree in History and it's been a lifelong passion etc. but it jumped between topics like Robert Walpole and when the Welsh were first brought under the English legal code, which boggled me. There was also the semantics one, delineating the difference between Britain and Great Britain (I saw it coming and I still got it wrong).

[cosmolinguist]

Heh, I won't have to write this now; you lot are doing it for me!

May also wants to drop sections of the official Life in the UK: A Journey to Citizenship handbook, which explains things such as the Human Rights Act and how to claim welfare benefits and give details of managing everyday life such as reading the gas meter, getting home contents insurance or dealing with the local council.

Instead, Conservative ministers want to tell new migrants that Britain is “historically” a Christian country with a “long and illustrious history”

[cosmolinguist]

I found the practicalities stuff a bit patronizing -- if they really wanted people to know how to set up a bank account, they'd do it before you'd been here the years it takes you for your visa to run out -- and mostly unhelpful: the two questions I wasn't absolutely sure I got right were about the speed limit on a dual carriageway and how TV licenses work in a shared house; it's hard to think of a time when either of those pieces of information would be useful to me, much less when I'd need to know them without being able to ask Mr Google.

But it's telling that she doesn't want people to know how to claim welfare benefits eh? Especially as that will be newly relevant to people who, up until they get their ILR, have NO RECOURSE TO STATE FUNDS emblazoned on their passports!

[cosmolinguist]

OMG they're all so good but the second is a thing of beauty.

[cosmolinguist]

Argh, sorry ::hugs:: I really hate to do that to you; I know how scary this stuff is, even though it's been years since I had to worry about the damn test and I did absolutely fine and am utterly certain that you will be too if the government hasn't come to their senses and scrapped it by that point.

[cosmolinguist]

The application process isn't hard unless, if you're like me, you don't do a good enough job of keeping track of old bank statements and stuff. And the "test" itself is easy if you're any good at all at memorizing facts.

[cosmolinguist]

A lot of people respond, "...normal?"

I am smiling and cringing at the same time, reading that. It's a good reminder to me, mired in the "people who quibble about bisexual or pansexual or omnisexual or sapiosexual or refuse all labels" or whatever end of the sexual identity spectrum to remember how many don't really think about themselves as having one (which I think contributes to the kind of "people saying they're gay are just shoving it down our throats" because they have no idea how they're performing their own sexuality all the time; it isn't just about sex.

I once deeply offended an older lady who misunderstood the questions as being about what she likes in the bedroom, rather than whom

Oh, I don't know whether to feel sorrier for you or her! I think it's fantastic that you do this, though; the more it exposes people to the concept that they're all valid and it's an okay thing to talk about, the better.

You are a worthwhile human to me at least

Thank you, but for once it wasn't me feeling insecure about this :) It was sparked off by seeing a couple of friends, who I don't think even know each other, say in quick succession things that made me want to reassure them that they didn't have to work or be "productive" to justify their existence.

But I'll always take reassurance and hugs myself, too! :)

[cosmolinguist]

My favorite example of heteronormative people not thinking about their own sexuality was when I was -- as a co-presenter about bisexuality -- at a NHS staff training day. Another presenter asked gay people if they would raise their hands, and I think a couple did; he asked for the lesbians; he asked for the bis (and the four of us enthusiastically raised our hands); and then he asked the straight people to raise their hands. It was the most cautious, looking-around-nervously, nervous-giggling thing you ever saw. A few mumbled something about how weird this was. The (gay, I think) presenter pointed out to them how uncomfortable it feels to "come out" like this, even when they're a huge majority and asked them to remember that this is what it's like for sexual and gender minorities all the flipping time, because you're right -- coming out is not a one-time thing; you keep doing it all the time. (Or not, if you choose not to, but that has its own stresses!)

I was all "If that's meant to mean straight, well, hell no: minnesattva. PWNED!")

:D

And when you get someone who is married and not-straight, we will love you forever for not assuming. I hope it's worth the confusion and derision for the potential of the huge deal it is for bisexuals not to have our sexuality erased by whatever kind of relationship we happen to be in. (It's to the point where, at another seminar on lesbian & bi women's health, which I went to with a couple of other bi-activist friends, we were so excited that one of the speakers included "biphobia" in a list of health issues that we must have looked like the most pro-biphobia people in the room...but really it's just that it's amazing to have our specific issues recognized, to not have to heckle them into the conversation.)

But primarily, I have noticed that sexuality is like race: people who are in the minority instantly respond, people in the majority don't understand the question

And this is the heart of privilege: not having to think about this shit all the time.

Thus I always try to defer to people who do have strong opinions about stuff I don't, on the subject of groups I don't belong to; if I should/shouldn't say things a certain way, if I shouldn't make a particular kind of assumption, even if I don't entirely understand why, I don't need to understand why; it's enough for me to know that there's a whole lot of history and emotion behind something, which there's no need to dredge up just to convince me not to be a dickhead :)