Quite my job?

[cosmolinguist]

My mom sent me a strange e-mail last night.

I thought I would just drop you a little note. Dad and I would like to see you quite the job and enjoy this year. We've had to help Chris and we would put money in your account so you can buy things. With Dad working and me we feel we can help. We talked last night after we spole with you. Please think about this. Talk to you later. Mom

My parents have always hated my job, which is strange enough in itself. I work part-time, it pays fairly well, and I GET TO SLEEP most of the time! What's not to like?

They don't like that I have to ride my bike or walk--"so far" or "in the dark." Okay, so it is dark, but I don't hit anything with my bike, and there do not appear to be any rapists or muggers in Morris. They don't like that it takes up half my weekends, because it contributes to me not ever coming home. This is true. But a much bigger factor in me not coming home is it being four hours away and me being unable to drive! And Mom, despite my repeated assurances, does not believe that I sleep well at work, ever. While this is sometimse true, mostly I complain about it more than I should and make it sound worse than it is. I'm whiny. In all honesty, I think my job is cool and I'm lucky to have it.

On the other hand ... the commute does start to suck in the winter. On my bike it's only a few minutes but I won't ride my bike in the snow (because it's not just snow, it's ice and slush and other slippery things, and I still have the scar on my knee from sliding on a patch of ice hidden under some snow last winter), so it's a 25-30 minute walk, a little more than last year. And last year was bad enough, thanks very much.

And I'm supposed to work on Thanksgiving, and through all of my winter break. This is a huge factor; last year I was able to get a whole week off at Christmastime but I don't think I'll be so lucky this year. And I want to be home, especially around Christmas. Thanksgiving never impressed me, but I would be so unhappy to miss Christmas Eve with my family.

Part of me likes the idea of getting (as Dire Straits says) money for nothing ... the lazy part of me. A large part of me remembers why I got a job in the first place: so I could be self-sufficient and not have to ask for money. I have taken some from my parents since I started working; I felt bad about having to do it.

My dad was out of work for a year, he just got a job again in September. He's lost his job at least three times since I was eleven or so, and the first time was for two years, I think. My parents aren't destitute but they are in debt. My mom has a job but it's low-paying and high-stress.

My brother, as usual, leads a more expensive life then I do (he has a car, and lives in a much bigger town where the rent is higher ... besides, he goes around wanting things he doesn't need like new computers), but he lives near my parents and they help him out with his car repairs and new clothes and such like that. It's not that they wouldn't do that for me, they just don't.

The point of all this is, for many reasons--not least of all my own status as an "adult"--I thought it was good for me to not have to take money from them if I didn't need to. And I haven't needed to, much.

When I told Sarah about this last night she said "Having a job is good for you." She's right. It gives me something to do--without speech and with fairly easy, if time-consuming, classes this semester, I don't have much to do sometimes--and it also makes me be responsible and all of that. My parents want me to "enjoy the year," which sounds like them; my dad has said that it's silly to be in a hurry to start working; you'll be doing it for fifty years as it is. Makes sense to me.

But the thing is, I don't know if I would enjoy the year more if I weren't working. I'd have more of an excuse to be lazy then. I'd be spending money I knew wasn't mine. Wouldn't I?

But, it's not unreasonable for parents to give money to their kids, and that's not a bad thing. It's just that they don't have that much. But, really, since it's their idea for me to quit in the first place, I don't feel too bad for the responsibility of my survival falling back on them.

Mom has indeed gotten me to think about this--I was pleased she phrased it as such; my parents have finally learned how to phrase their suggestions as suggestions and not as demands. It's a strange idea that I'd not even really considered before; my job is a boring facet of my life, something always there and taken for granted, that makes me happy momentarily every other Friday when I have a check to deposit.

Having thought about it, I see that both sides of the argument have their good and bad points. I'm not sure yet who wins.

Comments

[etoilepb.livejournal.com]

You could always leave that job, and know that there's that parental safety net to watch over you until you get hired somewhere else, maybe something with less of a commute or with more daytime hours? Are there any decent flexible-scheduling campus jobs where you are? I worked 20-30 hours a week in early mornings and in between classes my senior year, I rarely worked weekends and I was usually home by 7 (and I was a full time student), because I could work several short shifts.

[cosmolinguist]

It's not a bad idea--my dad, in his nicer and more subtle way, usually shows dislike of my job by saying "Too bad you couldn't find a nice on-campus job instead, isn't it?" I agree, but the pay's no better, the hours would be far less, and besides, those jobs are all immediately taken by workstudy-eligible people, and I don't think I am one of those).

Still, it is nice to know I can quit my job if I want to. :-)

[writerdog.livejournal.com]

It's pretty cool to read that you're a responsible, level-headed person -- your parents must be very proud of you (I would be if you were my kid). It's not often you see today's youth opt to not take the easy road.

Doing what you do, on you own terms, bodes well for your future. And to borrow from Yang's Chinese Fortune Cookie (or for that matter any fortune cookie), "You will be a success in whatever you do.".

I'm sure you'll make the best choice for yourself and your family.

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you for your kind words. This comment made me smile.

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

SPOLE - acronym: Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station (USAP)

If you like your job - and from the way you talk about it, you seem to - you should keep it. If they still want to give you money then you might as well take it.

[cosmolinguist]

I think my current solution is to go on with my job until or unless something happens that makes me really want to quit. It's like having an ejector seat button I can push if I don't want to stay where I am anymore, and that's nice to have.

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

that's a good way to look at it =)

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

I was going to also suggest what some of your other friends did -- if you have nothing against your job currently, then keep it for the time being. If your parents still want to send you money, that's perfectly fine. If you feel bad about accepting their money, do what I did -- use the money they send you only for food and other necessities. Then, spend the money you make on the more splurge-like purchases. You won't feel guilty using their money because you'd be spending it on things they would purchase for you if you were living in their house. I had jobs while I was in college, and although I never asked for money, I graciously accepted anything my parents did send me. If they felt they could afford it, that's why it was sent to me. Since they're offering without you asking for it, it must be okay -- and it's not bad to be helped out from time to time. It doesn't mean you're any less responsible.

I do want to say, though, that it is going to be quite an adventure walking 25-30 minutes late at night/early in the morning in the kind of winters Morris sees. Also, it would suck to not get the days off you want so you can spend time at home. If those two things become bigger issues than you would like, it wouldn't be a bad idea at all to quit. I'd much rather be snug in my bed than traipsing around in snow and freezing cold temperatures at obscure hours -- or be stuck in Morris over winter break. :-/

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, those two points--the time off and the cold--are the biggest detractors to me, too. The more I think about it, the nicer it might be for me to just not have to worry about this stuff any more...

I was here for most of winter break last year; working for almost two weeks just with a couple of days off, staying in my house by myself and doing a lot of nothing. Not fun.

And it's not that I'm worried about being irresponsible without a job. I'm always irresponsible anyway! :-)

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

Trust me, it's not fun being all alone. You know that for a fact with our talks lately. I think it'd be bad for your mental well-being to be in Morris over break.

And if your irresponsibility is not changed with or without a job -- if it becomes more of a hassle to work, then quit! :)

[parakleta.livejournal.com]

My parents paid my way when I first left home and came to uni, and I wanted to be independent and do it all myself. After 4 years of being independent and doing it all myself I want them to pay my way again. I have so much I want to do with my life while I'm young and my mind is active and inquisitive, and wasting away in an office earning enough money to pay the rent on a flat that I only occupy about half the week (cause the rest of the time I'm in the office) isn't my idea of a well spent youth.

I'd say take the money now, and make it up to them later when they need your help.

[evil-grapefruit.livejournal.com]

Come on darling, you need to keep your job. You are 21. And really this way, you dont feel as if you have to tell yo9ur parents what you are spending your money on.

[dawgdays.livejournal.com]

I'm curious. What kind of job is this that you get to sleep?

Having a job is a good thing. Not needing one is also a good thing. It's also nice to have the choice. Many people do not.

[cosmolinguist]

I work nights at a group home for disabled adults. So everybody's asleep most of the time I am there. It's someone's job to keep track of everything (and everyone) at night, plus do exciting things like laundry--this does leave one a lot of time for homework, or video games, or watching bad Lifetime movies, or whatever else one likes to do. It's someone else's job to help with the stuff that requires two people. That would be me. So every two hours I'm woken up, usually only for a few minutes, to do stuff. It's not a bad job. I'm not required to sleep the rest of the time--I've been known to stay up and do homework myself, or watch TV, or whatever--but I can, and that's cool. I get this little bedroom in the corner of the house, and since it is, of course, not used for anything the rest of the day, I can stay there as late as I want in the mornings, which is cool too.

[dawgdays.livejournal.com]

I'm not required to sleep the rest of the time

Now that would be peculiar, a job where you're required to sleep.

[mllesarah.livejournal.com]

Holly, do your parents realize even though you are living on campus, you still have food bills to pay? Don't get me wrong, I think that what your parents are offering is great. But unless your job makes you unhappy, then I woulnd't quit. Your parents are offering to help you out more than mine have helped me. But I think you need your job. U think it keeps you active, gives you excesize, though it is miserable in winter, and gives you alot more freedom. And, though the walk is cold, you could pull a me and bring headphones!