And he thinks I'm illogical ...

[cosmolinguist]

comradexavier has this horrible tendency to insist that I not go to bed before one o'clock when he is around. Last night at about 11:30 when I professed sleepiness he "reminded" me that I "can't" go to bed until one o'clock. I'm used to this, but I still don't understand it. There was probably a reason at some point, but we don't remember it.

He uses various tactics to keep me awake--he's had to do this before, as I'm often tired before one in the morning--but this was, I think, the most insiduous yet. Until then I'd been sitting on the couch and he'd been lying on me (he said I made a good pillow, which was fine because I thought he made a good blanket) and all was well. But then he turned the TV to what I not-so-fondly refer to as The Jesus Channel. I protested, of course, but he only laughed at me.

"It's just a Billy Graham sort of guy," he said. "That's not so bad."

"Yes, but--" I said, and the TV guy said, "Call the number on your screen now and you can start a personal relationship with Jesus ... " so Matthew said, "Does that mean Jesus will answer the phone?"

I laughed, but his attempts at humor did not weaken my determination to achieve the privlige of sleep. "Come on, get off me," I said, trying to move my leg but failing because he was on it.

"Not until you call that number," he said, pointing at the TV. "Ask Jesus on a date, you have to start a relationship with him." Matthew started laughing again.

"Oh, right. Just what I need," I said, attempting once again to extact my leg but it seemed to have been forced into the space between the back of the couch and he cushion. "One crazy boyfriend is enough for me, thanks."

Comments

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

What makes you thing Jesus is crazy?

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

Some typographical errors simply aren't solved by a spelling check.

Maybe that's why monogamy is such a big deal, polygamy would drive me crazy ...

[cosmolinguist]

Well, maybe he's not crazy; I don't know. I've never met the guy. But I still think he'd be more difficult than I need to deal with. I used the wrong word, probably due to the state of mental trauma I was in at the time.

[kratkrat.livejournal.com]

Well, you gotta admit that dating Jesus would have serious perks! I mean, just off the top of my head, here...

• You could order water at a restaurant, and have him turn it into a great wine. Think of how much money you'd save on the tab!
  
• Instead of taking a romantic moonlit walk next to a lake, he could hold you in his arms and you could walk ACROSS the lake. How cool would that be!!
  
• His wardrobe is not going to exactly take up a lot of your closet space.
  

Definite advantages, there...

[cosmolinguist]

Think of the in-laws. Lots of people are nervous about meeting their SO's family, but think of this! "Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Holly." I'm not one to get scared of such a situation, but that would do it.

Imagine, holidays at God's house. He'd give us good presents, but what do you get for the deity who has everything?