from altoidsaddict

[cosmolinguist]

1. Let's say you become the minister of information for a crazy, evil dictator. He tells you you have to stablish a propaganda campaign for something patently ridiculous. What is it, and what do you do to make the people believe it? Well, I could take MSS's approach; when he found himself in a similar situation, he lied. Even in the face of empirical evidence to the contrary, he stuck to his flamboyant untruths with a fervency the rest of the world finds laughable ... but still, we can't help liking the guy.

I'd be like that, only better. Truth isn't as important as what people perceive as truth--an apparent majority in this country, some of the same people who look at that website and chuckle, believe that we ousted Saddam because he had something to do with 9/11, or because he was harboring billions of scary WMDs, or some such. So for those peole, that is the truth.

2. How long do you think is appropriate between 1) meeting somebody; 2) getting serious with them; 3) marrying them? I could cop out and say "It varies for each person; they shoud just do what they are comfortable with." Which I believe. But it's boring. I'd tell you what variation I am, what's comfortable for me, but I don't have a vast amount of knowledge on which to draw, because I have very little experience. I can say that I'd like to be friends, to some degree, with a person before I date him. This is easily achieved, as I got in the habit of thinking of new people as people, possible friends, and not sizing up every male among them as a potential mate. My best friend has told me that she has two best friends, me and her then-fiancé (they're married now). That's a good way to look at it; I consider it very important to be friends with one's S.O., especially if you want them to become your spouse. You should be able to get along, pay bills, sleep in the same bad, disagree, fight without destroying your relationship, and be nice to each other. When you can do that, you should get married.

3. Let's put you in a Margaret Cho situation: you get a sitcom based on being funny, in which you play yourself - and the studio demands you lose weight, alter your appearance, and act differently to play yourself. If you refuse, they take the show (and the money) away. What do you do, and how hard is it? I forget the money. It's hard only as far as I am greedy, which isn't very much (my deadly sin of choice has always been sloth). I value my self, the individual personality I think I have, way more than money.

4. Craaaaazy wedding. How is it crazy? I'm so glad you asked! I think normal weddings are painful, in that they have all these silly, useless rules and traditions that do noting but annoy people and cause money to disappear. So I'd like to sabotage this as much as possible. The ingrained traditions actually make that fairly easy; anything that doesn't strictly comply with them is likely to be noticed ... and send my mom through the roof. Which is only a side benefit, if you ask me. Perhaps it will distract her from the fact that she dislikes whoever I decide to marry (not that I'm setting out to annoy her with my selection; it's just that we are such different people that I find it almost unavoidable).

The most frequent subject of my attentions is the music for the wedding. There have been multiple ideas (a lot of them formulated or embellished upon by my friends). The biggest is having my bridesmaids play kazoos (which can probably be hidden in their bouquets when not being used). They are going to play "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" in a round as they walk up the aisle, each startig to play as she starts to walk. And they were going to play the Star Wars theme for me, but if I marry my current boyfriend (which they insist will happen though I insist that he's said he doesn't want to get married at all) they'll play the Imperial theme for him, because it's perfect, and in that case I don't want too much Star Wars music; a Star Wars wedding would be much too geeky, I just want oddities. Suggested substitutes include "I'm a Little Teapot" ("because, in a wedding dress, you look a little like a teapot, don't you think?") and "Eye of the Tiger." I would personally love to hear that on kazoos.

If not, or perhaps in addition to the kazoos, Matthew suggested having a jazz band arrange and play that Star Wars music. Since we talked about this--in the middle of the night, after driving all day across half a dozen states--on our way back from Ohio, we decided the jazz band in question should be Vaughn Weister's, who we saw in Columbus. Ali says it's the best jazz you'll ever hear, and it only costs a dollar. She has connections with him, and is of course also one of my bridesmaids (as a student in a music conservatory, she'd probably kill the others once she heard their kazoo playing), so perhaps it wouldn't be completely farfetched ...

No more than all the rest of this, anyway.

5. What physical feature do you like best about yourself, and why? I have a gap between my two front teeth. Lots of people do, but most of them end up with braces and it--along with their other, real dental problems--is corrected. I didn't have any other dental problems, and so didn't need braces. The dentist offered them (apparently most people choose that option, which only makes sense because we're a society obsessed with superficial perfection) but I didn't want braces, having heard how nasty they were from my friends who did have them, and anyway I think my mom said our insurance wouldn't cover tooth realignment for purely cosmetic reasons. I like the quirk, the harmless imperfection. But then, I never was any good at being a perfectionist.

Comments

[fantome14.livejournal.com]

Traditionally, being gap-toothed is a sign of potent sexuality in a woman. Think of The Wife of Bath, and Madonna :-P

[cosmolinguist]

That's awesome. I will take anything I have in common with the Wife of Bath. I'm glad you pointed that out to me; I never would have noticed it myself.

[fantome14.livejournal.com]

I've heard that in a couple of places (studying the Renaissance, I guess) and the Wife of Bath is usually pointed out as an example. Then I point out Madonna.

I love the Wifey too. I wrote a paper in college on how, although she seems feminst, she's really upholding the patriarchy.

[kwakhed.livejournal.com]

bravo! to you and the interviewer! :-D

these are some of the best questions and answers i've seen since this meme started!