Yesterday Part Two: The Cardboard

[cosmolinguist]

Yes, these are the things I wrote on the piece of cardboard that was all I could find to write on in Darren's car when I first decided it'd be funny to write down some of the insane things surrounding me. If you think this is odd, you should know the other two parts of the list were written on a little napkin they put under your drinks and the back of a Target receipt.

Darren: You've turned me on intermittent!

Jenn: It's in case you need a feather for mad love sex.

Darren: It's not techno, it's percussion. ("It" being The Blue Man Group.)

Darren: I like to listen to this song when I'm playing mah-jongg.

Jenn: You have too much clutch!

Darren: Don't touch my stick! That's my ass-warmer.

Darren: Keep your pink turd off my windows!

Darren: Oh, that's nasty!
Holly: What's nasty?
Darren: The pink turd.
Holly: Why's it nasty?
Darren: It's all stringy!

Jenn: I wonder if it would stick to his head.
Darren: My hair!

Darren: Life's too short without a stimulant. Wait a second, did I just say "coffee's too short without a stimulant"?

garbage disposal noses (no, that's not a typo; the reason I wrote it down is that Jenn really said "noses")

Darren thinks Jenn's butt is a kettle. And that Jenn herself is a wedgie wench.

Jenn: I'm going to be splitting you, I am splutting you, I have splat you.
Darren: I'm being splitten! There's some splet on the window.

Darren: You filled your kumquat and then you kept eating!