Late December/early January need TWs for fatphobia & disordered eating

[cosmolinguist]

So this:

If you feel uncomfortable about your body, you have two choices. There is no right answer to this, so read carefully: you can choose to change something about yourself OR you can learn to love who you are. Either of these two options will be the right one depending on what will give you the most happiness.
...
If you do choose to lose weight, DO NOT PUT DOWN THE BODIES OF THOSE WHO HAVE NOT. Do not use phrases such as “OMG look at how fat I was!!1!” Or “I’m so glad I’m not fat anymore!” Because you weren’t a bad person when you were fat. You were no less of a person than you are now, no less worthy of self love, no less beautiful, smart, funny, caring… Being fat is not a negative.

Some of the people I love best do this. They work hard and diet and exercise and then if they regain an ounce they bemoan how fat they are again. And they still weigh less than I do. (Even the guys, sometimes.) Sometimes I laugh bitterly to myself or just do a facial expression that I'm not sure if it's a wince or a smile. But sometimes it really stings.

And it always makes me feel sad for the person saying it, too. Because of course my hard-won patched-together fragile self-worth is not the only one under attack from talk like this: they'll be convincing themselves too that they used to be, and if they gain the weight back they will again be ugly or lazy or useless.

Because I know my friends don't think I'm all of those things, and I'm fatter than almost all of you.

Comments

[purplerabbits.livejournal.com]

I do not agree that it's an OR. If I want to get thinner I also need to love who I am. I need to be kind to myself for what I am and for what I was and for what I will be, whether that goes the way I want or not.

Otherwise, agreed.

[cosmolinguist]

Absolutely.

[un-crayon-rouge.livejournal.com]

I'm on a personal campaign to stop people around me using weight as a compliment or a derogative (is that a word?). Women especially. "Oh, you look fantastic, you've lost weight, haven't you?" No, I look fantastic because I feel well and am awesome and I have no idea what I weigh because I don't use a scale, like, ever. "Oh, I can't eat this, I don't want to go back to what I looked like before, right?" I call people out on it, and it's working. Some of them actually get thoughtful, some just stop talking about it because I get so obnoxious. Both are fine with me.