Swimming

I wrote in October about how excited I was to go swimming in the trans-specific session and then when I got there it was double-booked. "I'll try again next month," I said, and the next month was double booked too.

In December I was let down by public transport and in January we had visitors. In September I was away for work and in August I had to do Gary-care and so on and so forth.

I'd known about this swimming thing for ever and I'd never been able to go!

Today I finally did.

It was surprisingly emotional, to be in an indoor pool again for the first time since I lived across the road from one and had a regular gym membership so that must be six years now. I didn't go a lot though: it was stressful for accessibility-related reasons as well as gender ones I couldn't identify yet.

So stepping in to the warm water was heavenly. I have had a okay time swimming in outdoor pools but it's rare I've gotten the chance to and it's not very accessible especially as I need a wetsuit to do that: just too many things to keep track of and getting changed outdoors is stressful enough for me anyway.

Today's session was well attended but not too big for the little pool. The trainer made sure there was space for me on one edge as I like so I can touch the wall and stay straight (ha) that way as it's impossible for me otherwise.

I still swim on my back as a kind of accessibility thing: it means people won't expect me to be able to see them so hopefully don't mind if I run in to them. So I just do my elementary backstroke and it's so chill and lovely. I don't have to think about it and can just let my mind wander. I'd forgotten how much I used to do this and how good it is for me.

Plenty to think about lately.