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[20/366] coffee and executive dysfunction
Jan. 20th, 2020 06:14 pm20 When you go to a fancy coffee shop, what’s your go-to order?
Americano. Black. No milk in it. None. No you don't need to leave room for milk, please don't in fact.
You have to say it like that or British people will put milk in your coffee. A lot of baristas are from other countries and some of them look at me weird when I say a lot of this pre-emptively, but if I don't, I get milk in my coffee.
--
Today's been another of those ghastly days where I've had no plans and nothign to stop myself getting lots of uni work done except for...my own brain. So in fact I'm just starting to sit down and try to think for the first time today. It's also been the deadline of two of my essays, and watching that zoom past has not been good for my mental equilibrium even as I'm as sure as I can be that the mitigating circumstances will be okay but it isn't decided until the end of the week.
I read a description the other day, I can't remember where now, of somsone saying their executive dysfunction felt like they were always waiting for something to happen; they know there isn't really anything to be waiting on, but it feels like you can't start doing the thing until... unti this non-existent thing happens, and since there isn't anything, you're never done waiting. I've always been like this; it's one reason that I don't function at all well if I'm left alone too long; it's much better if there's someone around to actually do things I can notice them waking up/moving around/changing what they're doing in any way and trick my brain into thinking that was the thing I was waiting for.
So today he slept all day and I did nothing, and now he's awake and...actually he's being really helpful with some references I was struggling to find and with a computer program to count up some words for me. That's all a big help but really I just needed to stop feeling like I was waiting for something.
Americano. Black. No milk in it. None. No you don't need to leave room for milk, please don't in fact.
You have to say it like that or British people will put milk in your coffee. A lot of baristas are from other countries and some of them look at me weird when I say a lot of this pre-emptively, but if I don't, I get milk in my coffee.
--
Today's been another of those ghastly days where I've had no plans and nothign to stop myself getting lots of uni work done except for...my own brain. So in fact I'm just starting to sit down and try to think for the first time today. It's also been the deadline of two of my essays, and watching that zoom past has not been good for my mental equilibrium even as I'm as sure as I can be that the mitigating circumstances will be okay but it isn't decided until the end of the week.
I read a description the other day, I can't remember where now, of somsone saying their executive dysfunction felt like they were always waiting for something to happen; they know there isn't really anything to be waiting on, but it feels like you can't start doing the thing until... unti this non-existent thing happens, and since there isn't anything, you're never done waiting. I've always been like this; it's one reason that I don't function at all well if I'm left alone too long; it's much better if there's someone around to actually do things I can notice them waking up/moving around/changing what they're doing in any way and trick my brain into thinking that was the thing I was waiting for.
So today he slept all day and I did nothing, and now he's awake and...actually he's being really helpful with some references I was struggling to find and with a computer program to count up some words for me. That's all a big help but really I just needed to stop feeling like I was waiting for something.