[12/366] crushes, and getting unstuck
Jan. 12th, 2020 07:14 pm12 Have you ever had a “crush” on a fictional character?
I'm watching one right now: since![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
diffrentcolours hadn't seen the last series of Peter Capaldi Doctor Who, so we're watching an episode now before the new Doctor Who is on. I don't normally fancy the Doctor but I liked that one. We're watching the haunted house episode; it's good.
--
Had a nice day. I'd been feeling really...stuck this week: couldn't do my work, couldn't enjoy anything else (I couldn't stand silence or any piece of music I could think of, I picked up about five different books the night before last and couldn't concentrate on any of them) and getting out of the house last night seemed to help.
D introduced me as Cosmo to his friends we met up with at the gig, and I surprised myself by just being utterly delighted that they just (of course, as anyone should) treated this as no big deal, said "nice to meet you Cosmo" and "so Cosmo where do you live" and normal small-talk stuff like that, not knowing that no one had ever done this before. I had assumed that no one was likely to use the name since everyone's in the habit of calling me Holly and that's still my name so it's fine but I'd worried that if anyone did call me Cosmo I'd be awkward and weird in response but I don't think I was. I didn't feel those things anyway, and that was a nice surprise. Thinking about it, it probably helped that it was people who didn't know me; I imagine it'll be more awkward when/if it's people I know. But it felt really good so that'll be worth it, I reckon.
I'd been awake since 4am (thanks, insomnia!) so I was practically falling asleep during the gig despite it being crowded and noisy, so when we left I thought I was excited to go home but when D asked if I'd like to do that or go somewhere for a drink I said I was fine either way so we ended up walking in the direction of buses and ended up at the Thirsty Scholar. We had a drink, outside under the railway arch so out of the rain and welcomely cool after the stuffiness of the gig. We had a nice pint but it was so good my intention of being out for literally a drink turned into the British definition of "a drink": we drank the pub dry of Creme Bearlee (not that that took much! two pints each) and had a Weinstephaner each before we actually headed home via the Spar so D get Irn Bru and onion bhajis.
Debating that third drink, I happened to notice a sign for the place we went to (well, the first place we went to) that night we got really drunk and ended up, by the time some drunken strangers asked us if we were a couple, deciding on "...yes?" as the most accurate answer to the conversations we'd just been having. It seems like such a weird question to drunkenly ask some strangers but we were probably giving off some weird body-language vibes, our relationship being caught mid-transformation like that. Had we been out drinking like that since? I don't think we had. It's rare for us to have the opportunity and the lack of upcoming responsibility, and while we see and talk to each other all the time, there's something particular to these kinds of nights out, being a measured amount of irresponsible in trusted company, that isn't quite like any other way of spending time together.
Today was quiet -- I didn't have the hangover that I'd expected, but I had the kind of day I would've had with one anyway: slept in, bimbled to shops, made soup, worked on an essay... It all seemed to help, I got home feeling much less stuck. Hopefully able to do a terrifying amount of work on those essays in the next few days! Deadlines are perilously near now.
I'm watching one right now: since
diffrentcolours hadn't seen the last series of Peter Capaldi Doctor Who, so we're watching an episode now before the new Doctor Who is on. I don't normally fancy the Doctor but I liked that one. We're watching the haunted house episode; it's good.--
Had a nice day. I'd been feeling really...stuck this week: couldn't do my work, couldn't enjoy anything else (I couldn't stand silence or any piece of music I could think of, I picked up about five different books the night before last and couldn't concentrate on any of them) and getting out of the house last night seemed to help.
D introduced me as Cosmo to his friends we met up with at the gig, and I surprised myself by just being utterly delighted that they just (of course, as anyone should) treated this as no big deal, said "nice to meet you Cosmo" and "so Cosmo where do you live" and normal small-talk stuff like that, not knowing that no one had ever done this before. I had assumed that no one was likely to use the name since everyone's in the habit of calling me Holly and that's still my name so it's fine but I'd worried that if anyone did call me Cosmo I'd be awkward and weird in response but I don't think I was. I didn't feel those things anyway, and that was a nice surprise. Thinking about it, it probably helped that it was people who didn't know me; I imagine it'll be more awkward when/if it's people I know. But it felt really good so that'll be worth it, I reckon.
I'd been awake since 4am (thanks, insomnia!) so I was practically falling asleep during the gig despite it being crowded and noisy, so when we left I thought I was excited to go home but when D asked if I'd like to do that or go somewhere for a drink I said I was fine either way so we ended up walking in the direction of buses and ended up at the Thirsty Scholar. We had a drink, outside under the railway arch so out of the rain and welcomely cool after the stuffiness of the gig. We had a nice pint but it was so good my intention of being out for literally a drink turned into the British definition of "a drink": we drank the pub dry of Creme Bearlee (not that that took much! two pints each) and had a Weinstephaner each before we actually headed home via the Spar so D get Irn Bru and onion bhajis.
Debating that third drink, I happened to notice a sign for the place we went to (well, the first place we went to) that night we got really drunk and ended up, by the time some drunken strangers asked us if we were a couple, deciding on "...yes?" as the most accurate answer to the conversations we'd just been having. It seems like such a weird question to drunkenly ask some strangers but we were probably giving off some weird body-language vibes, our relationship being caught mid-transformation like that. Had we been out drinking like that since? I don't think we had. It's rare for us to have the opportunity and the lack of upcoming responsibility, and while we see and talk to each other all the time, there's something particular to these kinds of nights out, being a measured amount of irresponsible in trusted company, that isn't quite like any other way of spending time together.
Today was quiet -- I didn't have the hangover that I'd expected, but I had the kind of day I would've had with one anyway: slept in, bimbled to shops, made soup, worked on an essay... It all seemed to help, I got home feeling much less stuck. Hopefully able to do a terrifying amount of work on those essays in the next few days! Deadlines are perilously near now.