They say I got brains

[cosmolinguist]

My ex-husband knows and thinks and cares so much about Brian Wilson that I feel like I shared a polycule with the man.

Wandering around the house tonight, doing the last chores of the evening while the Doof is finishing up, I hear "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times" and I still know all the words, still remember the pained 20somethings Andrew and I were when we met and he introduced me to this weird lonely musician and all his feelings which were also our weird lonely feelings.

There was always something terribly melancholy for me in Brian Wilson's music -- there's a demo of "Still I Dream of It" that used to make me so sad that just thinking about the song made me cry uncontrollably -- and all the more once I left my marriage and never really listened to the Beach Boys any more. And the odd time I hear them, on the radio or like now, I'm always a little thrown by how weird the commercially-released songs sound, without all the unreleased versions layered over them in my mind because those were more common in my marital home (like I said: Not a parasocial relationship for me, but a parasocial metamour).

D made sure I heard the news, and I texted Andrew once I did. I just couldn't let such a thing go by without saying I was thinking of him.

I think both Brian Wilson and Andrew eventually "found the thing they can put their heart and soul in to," as the song goes, and I'm really glad for that.

Comments

[otter]

I can't really even imagine how the un-released music would shift one's view of Mr Wilson. I've only been exposed to what made it to commercial radio.

Edit: It was definitely a kindness for you to message Andrew.

[sfred]

*nods*

[miss_newham]

I immediately thought of the time you both stayed at my flat and Andrew talked about the Beach Boys for an entire weekend! Several lifetimes ago now.

[barakta]

I am glad you are able to feel and do kindnesses like this towards Andrew.