Why under the sink, though? Just because he'd fit there?

At lunch today with my two friends whose names start with "Je" and end with a repeated consonant, Jeff was asking Jenn questions about his Christmas present. It was only after several minutes of this that I realized I, in fact, actually know what Jeff's Christmas present is. So then, when Jenn had to go to class, he and I still sat there and he asked me questions.

"Well," he said, listing off things he'd already learned. "It's something fun. And it's from Target. Is this a toy or a game or something?"

"Well, it's kind of a toy and a game ... I think ... "

"Is it more for boys or for girls?"

"I'd say it's pretty neutral."

"Does it have anything to do with gay sex?"

"I hope not!"

"Is it Twister?"

"That would have something to do with sex, then, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose you're right. It's not Monopoly, is it?"

"No. At least that wouldn't be sex-related ... "

"Oh, it could be. 'Oh, so you don't have enough money to pay me, huh?' Also, there are all those hotels."

"Well, I suppose this is true ... " No wonder I don't like Monopoly.

"Is it a gay midget love slave?"

"They don't sell those at Target."

"Well, I think they do, but they keep them in the back room, and you have to ask for them in code."

"I see." paninogirl never told me that. Understandable, though.

"Because I'd like to have a gay midget love slave," Jeff continued. "I'd dress him in a tuxedo and store him under the sink. Except then I'd get in trouble, since slavery's illegal. It wouldn't have to be a slave, though. Or even gay. Just a midget I could dress in a tuxedo and store under the sink."

Jeff isn't even getting the present Jenn said he would, anyway. She switched around who is getting what, at the last second. After all that work! Now he is going to be confused and perhaps indignant because most of the things we told him about his present are not true.