My reasons to get married

I keep thinking of them...and they're all bad...and I like that.

1. Get a different last name. Now, I like my family, but not my last name. If people hear me say it they cannot spell it; if they see it written down they can't pronounce it correctly.
   
   Plus it's too long. Eight letters...my cursive is so bad and I have so little interest in it (I use it only to sign my name, basically) that I tend to lose interest about halfway through my last name, and it looks terrible. I can't write legibly and quickly, and my signatures tend to be expedient rather than pretty. My solution to this is to marry someone with a shorter last name.



2. To play the Star Wars theem as my wedding march...and otherwise sabotage the "usual," "expected" things weddings are full of. I don't like weddings much; though I really want to get married I have seemingly little respect for the institution of marriage. (I's actually the same kind of respect I have for a lot of things: unrecognizable as such, but very much there.) However, I regard the ceremony as cruel and unusual torture. This Star-Wars-theme idea was originally my friend Sarah's, but I think it's brilliant. I think weddings are silly, and so I'm determined to counter them with my own silliness.
   
   Anything I want that isn't completely traditional is bound to enrage my mom, which I see as a nice side-effect. I don't try to be annoying to her, but if I happen to be...well, I think it'd be good for her. Maybe it'll make her less annoyed with whoever I'm marrying.



3. Getting things! My best friend got married this summer, and some friends and I got her a tea press for the "shower" (would it surprise you to hear that it was rather untraditional for a bridal shower?) we gave her. She made tea for those of us that were still there when most people had left, and we loved it. I said I would like to get a tea press for my bridal shower. Which is what started all this why-I-should-get-married silliness in the first place... Now my friend is charged with getting me a tea press for my shower, and a set of cool glasses like the set of cool glasses someone gave her and her husband as a wedding gift.
   
   Mwa ha ha

I think there are more...I just can't remember now.