Confessions of a Nudist's Lackey, or "In the Nudie-Pants"

I couldn't tell if she was actually mad at me for letting her do it, or not.

It wasn't my idea. I thought being lesbians for Halloween was a great idea. We had the costumes ready and everything: two pieces of paper; hers said A Lesbian --->
and mine said<--- A Lesbian's Girlfriend
But nooooo, that wasn't good enough. Somebody wanted to be a nudist for Halloween!

She kept her underwear on...though she pulled down her bra straps so her shoulders were bare. She taped two pieces of paper together, wrote "I'M A" on them, attached a string, and hung that arond her neck. She taped two more pieces of paper together and wrote "NUDIST" on that. This was originally on a string too, to go around her waist, but we lost that string before we even got started, and so she just held it there. Which I thought was a nice touch anyway.

We visited a bunch of our friends this way. It being Minnesota, and the last day of October, it was bloody cold out, so Jenn would usually change in the car when we got to wherever we were going. It was my job, as lackey, to stuff her clothes in the pillowcase we'd brought with us for this purpose. And, until I ran out of film, to take pictures. There's a great one of our friend Seth answering the door...

This was interesting enough, of course, but then Jenn decided to visit some people we know who live on campus. Apparently she'd lost whatever fear she'd had about being cited for indecent exposure. We saw some friends who live in dorms and on-campus apartments, and then, THEN, went to find some friends of ours who were, of course, going to a showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show because it's Halloween. The moviegoers seemed to be taking this sight pretty well; I heard comments like "at least she's wearing mittens" and some more people signed her--by this time a rule had been developed: if you see Jenn as a nudist, you have to sign her. We had a black marker we carried around for this purpose. Jenn's stomach and back now say things like "Cheese!" "Greg was here" "NRA 4ever" ("it's a joke!" that guy said) "Go nude!" and "Happy Halloween" along with a lot of our friends' names and a couple of smiley faces. The people selling popcorn for the movie gave her some for free.

Only as she was clothed again and we were heading for the parking lot did Jenn seem to realize what she'd done. "Why did you let me do this, Holly? I thought you were my friend! Aren't you supposed to stop me? You're supposed to say: 'Jennifer...NO!' "

"Do you think it would have worked?" I asked.

"Maybe," she said.

"I tried! I wanted to be a lesbian!"

Instead, I had to carry around a pillowcase with Jenn's clothes and her car keys in it--I lost her glasses somehow in the process; I'm sorry, Jenn!--and do everything she told me to because I was "her lackey." Ha. (This included telling her when to turn and stop and go after she lost her glasses and still had to drive because I can't, because I actually am blind, legally and everything.)

Oh! And, since soltice was one of the people we went to visit, I got the next two discs of Evangeliion. She keeps all her DVDs in little CD-wallet type things, and I saw her open the green one (green is where all the anime is, don't ask me how I know that) and flip through the pages, saying "I can make the pain go away..."

"This isn't fair!" I said, grinning despite myself. "I used to be so normal..."

She hugged me and said, "No, you were never normal. You were just repressed."