Grandpa update

[cosmolinguist]

When we last left our hero, he was about to go to the hospital.

I got an e-mial from my mom this evening -- with the helpful subject line "Grandpa," which made my heart sink (as did the thoght that if this isn't the last time she's going to be talking abot him, this is only going to keep happening).

Mom's e-mail starts: "Grandpa refused to go to Rochester. He told them he feels good and he isn't going to go over there and be sick."

Which is so him. I read this out to Andrew and said "That's so him." His dementia has only exacerbated his natural stubbornness and he's always been convinced there's nothing, or nothing much, wrong with him. "So basically he has shortened his life and the aorta valve will eventually pop."

I was very philosophica about it at first -- being in the hospital would make him miserable; the last time he had to stay in for a few days, he apparently caused such a fuss on the ward and such misery to the staff that he was home before his doctors had originally told him he would be. This story makes me smile despite myself. Maybe he would live a bit longer in a hospital bed hooked up to a beepy machine, but it wouldn't be the life he has falling asleep in his armchair, turning the heat up to 80, pretending not to watch Oprah and Dr. Phil, playing a dice game with my mom when she comes to visit, expecting his supper at four o'clock and having a big bowl of ice cream before he goes to bed every now and then as a treat.

Just hang on until Christmas, Grandpa. You better. You have to.

Comments

[sfred]

Thinking of you.

[cosmolinguist]

That helps :)

[uglybuffy.livejournal.com]

Cheering Grandpa on. He sounds fun.

[cosmolinguist]

He is. He's the only person I'm related to that Andrew really likes or gets along with too (though he tolerates the rest with all the kindness you could expect of the foreign ambassador to an alien species, which is basically what he is).

[barakta]

Awww I love this description and I hope there is an option that allows Grandpa to retain his independence as long as possible without too much burden on individual others to sustain it. It's horrid when loved ones get old and understandably don't want to do residential care/hospital ;/

[cosmolinguist]

I know it's hard on my grandma, who's not in perfect health herself but is a lot better than him. He can be such an ornery bastard too, something only made worse by the dementia. I know it wears on my mom (nearest child). As does one of her sisters being the devil in the details, forever whining that this and that should have been done differently. So the family politics encroaches pretty quickly, but then that's true of anything :p

Thanks for the good wishes; they mean a lot to me.

[goodqueenmolly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, definitely with Grandpa on this one.

[cosmolinguist]

Me too, and I tried to tell my mom so the other day. She agreed that he's a terrible hospital patient, but she did so in an understandably sad and concerned tone of voice. There are no easy answers here, or even any good ones.

[wildheartofire.livejournal.com]

*hugs* willing it to be.

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks; means a lot to me.