Bleh

[cosmolinguist]

I thought I was doing okay on the weekend, but now that I'm back at work things are really rough on my brain.

Work is intensely demanding. My dreams were violent and graphic last night and I woke up wanting to do nothing more than call in sick but the work-placement person I'm responsible for started today and I had to be there to talk to her and try to find things to do despite having no idea what the rest of my team is doing and being in maybe the worst possible position to find tasks for a bright graduate who'll be here two days a week for a few months. I had two meetings in a row this afternoon with different parts of the org I work with that were properly existential: we stumbled over questions like "who's responsible for drafting the Scottish guidance on active travel?" or "what exactly do we want local authorities to do regarding the built environment?" This would be so unfair for a new person who feels like she's jumping in at the deep end just being in a meeting about what we're doing on one Government consultation.

I only realised today that I'd kinda conflated two different TfL invites and now the thing I'm going to London for tomorrow, I dint even want to and it doesn't seem worth it. I've got a train ticket I hate to waste, but bleh. Bleh!

Counseling is right after work on a Tuesday, so I managed to squeeze in a quick Teddy walk in the glorious sunshine (the weather has been amazing today, that's today's one saving grace) and then absolutely exhausted myself trying to explain my week. She's not available at rhe usual time next week but I won't be the week after, and the week after that she won't be, so I took the unusual step of fitting in an appointment at a different time next week; usually if my normal one doesn't work I just skip it, but it feels like I need more at this point.

Comments

[alatefeline]

Good for you for scheduling therapy and walks!!! Excellent!

Your job sounds different from mine except for the sinking existential dread being very similar. I'm sorry.

[angelofthenorth]

That sounds like you need the therapy and doggy therapy.

Much sympathy

[otter]

It does seem a good time to not skip therapy that long. I hope you sleep better tonight.

[diffrentcolours]

I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. Hopefully going out on Friday will help.

[jesse_the_k]

May your London trip include some surprise dogs and more sunshine.

Sorry things are shit rn

[barakta]

I'm sorry you have possible delayed reaction shit. It really sounds like you are doing all the boring right things to manage it. I'm also sorry your job/work is so stressful too.

Wishing you appropriate space to brain-process this as you need. Sending much love your way.

[forests_of_fire]

I'm glad that you got some therapy and puppy time. <3