blurb that list like on a book jacket

[cosmolinguist]

It really threw me when I realized that I'm much closer to the deadline for returning my PIP review than I thought I was. Not least because I had to factor in shit like weekends and the mail because I actually had to mail this form in like it's the goddam 1990s.

When my original PIP form was done digitally, and when the DWP knows to send me letters in large print, it's fucking bullshit that they send me their normal-ass form.

I sent it back with four pages of typed additions to my previous claim, so mostly about my ankle (but also I wasn't even on the current brain drug yet, and then there's testosterone...).

I was close enough to the deadline that I had to pay eight pounds in postage to make sure it'll get there in time, fuck everything about this.

I walked home from the post office feeling really deflated.

Having to work on this today was the last straw for deciding whether I am going to this black-tie gala dinner for work: a few days ago when I'd been a stresshead about everything to do with work, D had said "okay how about we go to Slaters after the gym on Saturday and sort this out" so that had been the plan but then I tried to imagine dealing with strangers about my body in an inadequate binder and then I tried to imagine carting all these clothes with me to London, working like normal that afternoon, getting myself into these clothes, finding a place I've never been to, being the only person wearing a mask, somehow eating enough food, getting from there to a hotel I'm supposed to book myself but am not at all sure how to do...

...and I couldn't. It was just literally unimaginable. Way too many difficult things in a row, without a breather between any of them. So I'll have to fess up on Monday that I'm not doing this. I hate that prospect, but I hate it a lot less.

But the weather was nice and since we didn't have to go clothes shopping and some people at the gym had mentioned it's Salford Pride, D and I planned to go to that. I was really glad for something to look forward to.

By the time I got home and D had had his post-gym shower, he'd learned that Salford Pride is now a ticketed event for crowd-control purposes, and that tickets were sold out. I'm so used to going to these small Prides that I forgot about tickets (I've bought a ticket for Manchester Pride once and it was in like 2009)! I'm glad Salford has been successful enough that they need to limit numbers, but I was disappointed to be kept out by this.

I had an okay afternoon: I sat outside, I helped MB re-pot some mint and oregano, getting myself and the patio covered in topsoil and water. I'm feeling a bit restless but utterly unambitious.

For lack of a better way to mark the occasion, I went back and re-read a social media thread I'd started while trying to fit both dayjob and PIP into yesterday. People showed me nice photos of animals and plants and other good things, and some said nice things about me.

You’re brilliant at many things and you’re doing so well - not your fault too many things are happening at once

i saw a rainbow yesterday

the massive blackberry bush on the wasteland near my drs is in full bloom so that's fun to walk past. and last night the second i turned the light out and got into bed [the cat] came out from her hiding spot for a nighttime cuddle, it was lovely

here's a photo of a flower on one of our tomato plants that has started growing two tomatoes on it.

I'm always impressed by your insights, your breadth and depth of knowledge, your kindness and generosity, your thoughtful way of offering critique and correction, and just your whole general DEAL. I honestly think you're pretty damn great.

I’m so grateful to know you, Erik. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve learned from you, and how that learning has helped me grow 🩷

I got some kids to make a fire yesterday with no serious injuries! It's stressful but I'm conscious that for a few of these kids this is their only chance to be out with dangerous and messy things, so I am the goofy chaotic uncle (who is filling in risk assessments and just about dying of anxiety behind the scenes). The best thing about firelighting is that nobody is good at it, so everyone gets a turn at trying.

In a few hours, we're taking a road trip to PA to catch an IronPigs/Tides ballgame. Pretty exciting!

[This started a whole delightful thread about the Iron Pigs, a minor league baseball team that D and I have a hilariously random attachment to, which extends to us both having t-shirts in our favorite color with their logo on them.]

here’s what all my animals thought about the weird piece of metal that busted my tire! Shadow loved it, Penny was disgusted, and ripple didn’t care either way. You are not shit at everything. Life has been coming at you really really fast lately and you’ve been handling it with grace, you are a kind wonderful guy and I’m really glad we met on here 💜💜💜 [Shadow, Penny and Ripple are all cats, by the way]

I'm always happy to read you, you're such a force! 💖

You are a goddamn delightful human being and bring light to this earth.

oh oh oh last night my partner and metamour and I watched the massive moon rise with our arms around each other? and my metamour was playing Moon River (the song) on their phone and the frogs were yeeping and gronking. truly magical ✨

I've saved my favorite for last:

one of the most Erik-Supreme-Competence I can think of is how, despite the overwhelm of the task at hand, you are taking the time to not merely acknowledge all the cool things people are sharing, you are enthusiastically being excited about them. What a joy it has been to read this thread - as much for your generous responses as the wonderful sharings.

You are the key to this - the insight to ask and ask for things that will brighten not just your day but anyone lucky enough to find this thread - and then enrich the whole experience by folding your joy into the mix. This is amazing and so utterly you being yourself and I wish you could be building a list of all the ways you shine at being Erik (and we could all blurb that list like on a book jacket "astonishingly important... 100% makes the world a better place")

And then five heart emojis in a row. Five!

She's right, I absolutely did dive in to this thread, almost everyone got me reflecting their reply back at them: it's great to see ducks, I'm glad your dog is enjoying the park, and yes that whole thing about the Iron Pigs... It really does cheer me up to get out of my own head, that's what helps the most at times like this. I can recommend it, if you're having a tough time yourself.

And I kinda found some way to mark the occasion of having finished the terrible disability hoop-jumping. I might not have gotten to partake of the queerness and sunshine at Salford Pride, but I manufactured something similar.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

Prince of queerness and sunshine!

[radiantfracture]

I went back and re-read a social media thread I'd started while trying to fit both dayjob and PIP into yesterday

I love that you asked for this and that it turned out so well. I love seeing this celebration of how you are in the world.

[otter]

sending hugs and smiles

[alithea]

Is it still Mastodon you're on post-Twitter? I have ventured on to Bluesky finally but not that.

I'm glad your followers made such a lovely thread to cheer you up!

[silveradept]

A government service with as proven hostility toward the people they are supposedly serving as the DWP should have long ago been sacked and replaced for poor performance and discrimination.

I am glad to see that you got such lovely comments and reinforcements of you being a great person, because it's true. You made a completely sensible decision not to stress yourself out further, and that sensibility, even in the face of social pressure, is one of the things that is consistently excellent about you.

[barakta]

I love that you asked for nice things and positive affirmations. It is something I suggest people do for themselves or with support in my "how to do the PIP form" cranky-guidance and I always wonder how many people even try it.

Well done for doing the thing. The level of discrim from government entities is endless.

[sfred]

<3