[141/365] anniversary

[cosmolinguist]

mother_bones has been making a lot of blankets, getting some beautiful fabric and cutting it into squares and making the most lovely combinations of colors and patterns. She's been giving them away to friends and family.

She finished the last one a month ago, and when she started talking about the next one she wanted to do, using up scraps and fabric she already has, I wondered if she'd like to make it for my parents as an anniversary present. She was very happy to, and worked very hard on making everything as neat and as pretty as possible, fussing over colors and patterns and how it all fit together. She ended up with a beautiful thing, mostly shades of navy on one side and mostly shades of grassy green on the other. She even embroidered my parents' names and the dates of their marriage and this 50th anniversary on it for me.

My aunt, my dad's sister, asked me a while ago about putting something in the local paper for my mom and dad, as people do in small towns for things like fiftieth wedding anniversaries. My parents apparently told her they weren't sure about that and would have to think about it, which I knew meant no. They won't let people call attention to them. I was really sad about this, I had been looking forward to the chance to say nice things about them.

My aunt had sent me a version of this that'd been in her own small-town Minnesota newspaper recently: it was like "congratulations [names], from [name of child + likely-spouse x3] and all your grandchildren!" Obviously one for my parents wouldn't say that, but they have lived in the same place for longer than I've been alive, and they don't have the queer label for family of choice but they do actually have one of those, and most of it would read their local newspaper.

When my aunt brought up the idea of putting something in the paper, I found her not only a photo of my parents' wedding party but also a goofy (staged?) photo of my parents "running away" t;o their car, which had junk thrown all over it in the way "Just married" cars did in that time/place. My dad's black-suited back is to the camera, his tall lanky frame hunched over as he "runs." My mom has hiked up the long skirt of her wedding dress to reveal her skinny legs and the kind of kitten-heel white sandals she wore during summers I actually remember. They were both so skinny, and young. Half the age I am now.

So I printed both those photos on a piece of paper and wrote a fake-newspaper thing to go with them. First the nice, formal wedding photo.

Happy 50th anniversary [names]!

It is traditional for these newspaper announcements to say things like “love from all your children and grandchildren,” and I am sad that isn’t the case for you guys.

But it’s really remarkable that, even though you’ve lost one child and the other moved far away and never provided any grandchildren anyway, you have so many people who care about you in the community where you’ve lived for more than 40 of these 50 years. You raised me to believe that friends could be as close and as valuable as family, and that’s been so good for me.

I know you didn’t want Mary and I to put something in the paper but I wish I could have so that your friends could all agree with me!
[then the "running away" photo]
I know you don’t want any attention, but I wanted to give you a little anyway.

Love,
Holly

Then on the other side I wrote about the blanket:

made you this blanket, I asked her to because I wanted you to have something nice for your anniversary since you couldn’t visit me like we originally wanted. I wanted you to have something to keep so I wanted it to be useful.

She asked me a lot about the colors and designs on the quilt, she really hopes you like them and she put a ton of time and thought into them. I’m so happy with how it turned out and I hope you are too.

I also got her to include your names and how long you’ve been married so far, it’s hidden a bit so I hope you can find it!

And I mailed it off today. I hope they like it.

Comments

[meepettemu]

<3

[strange_complex]

This sounds lovely. I bet they will really love the blanket, especially since it is so personal and handmade just for them. And your tribute to them teaching you the concept of found family (without the words) is a really nice way to nod towards the one they've built for themselves.

[kaberett]

<3

[otter]

I hope they like it too. I'd love to get something like that, for any reason.

[forests_of_fire]

♥

[sfred]

<3

[silveradept]

It sounds like a wonderful gift, something that can be appreciated without stepping on the boundaries someone set for themselves.

[finding_helena]

That's very sweet of you. I hope they like it.

[jesse_the_k]

What a thoughtful (and useful) gift!