Not Doing Very Well

[cosmolinguist]

The homework for this class is still making me cry a little. Last week and this week.

I hate crying but I'm too stressed not to: it's too much work to do, and I'll never know which four tutorials to ask for as part of my grade.

I never did ask if I could have as a disability accommodation the four best chosen for me but I guess maybe I should. It wouldn't fix the problem of me still not being very good at this, but it would take away the biggest part of my frantic anxiety.

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

Can you ask for the "they choose four best" now?

Is there a down side?

[cosmolinguist]

I can ask, yes. The only downside is the anxiety it causes me (I'm, irrationally or not, convinced it won't work) but if my lecturer says no I won't be any worse off than I am now.

If you try it

[jesse_the_k]

...then you won't have second-guessing fuel

*sends fluffy yet none-allergic pillows*

Re: If you try it

[cosmolinguist]

Oh I will try it. It's only tonight I realized how necessary it is to try. Even though I was feeling this had last Thursday when I was working on last week's too, I guess I was feeling bad enough then that I forgot I could try this. Thank you for encouragement and convincing but I don't need it. :)

[kaberett]

<3

please ask for the accommodation.

[cosmolinguist]

I'll do it tomorrow! I'd write an email tonight but I don't have any spoons left. I only just got the work in a halfway decent state tonight.

[kaberett]

<3<3<3

[sir_guinglain]

I second this.

[angelofthenorth]

what nice thing are you going to do for yourself after you've asked? Doesn't need to be huge, but it might help the brainweasels. If I know Huw is doing something that involves confronting brainweasels, we plan cuddles for afterwards, for example.

[cosmolinguist]

This is a nice idea. :) I've got two seminars and my meeting with the study mentor (I've got such good progress to report to her!) tomorrow and I'll probably email my disability advisor to ask about this before I do all that.

But my boyfriend is coming to stay for the first time in ages tomorrow evening, and that will be a nice thing.

[magister]

Well, I hope he realises how lucky he is to be with you. <3

Looking forward to seeing you. Hope your day's not too bad.

[cosmolinguist]

It hasn't started off fantastically well -- the dog barked constantly from when 3am when Andrew came to bed until I finally gave up about 5:30, got up to do some laundry and finish my coursework for today, and the dog ran upstairs and has been happily asleep ever since.

I really hope I can nap after I get back from uni and before you get here because otherwise I'll be asleep the whole time that you are here. I feel absolutely dreadful.

[magister]

Hugs. Hope things feel better.

[davidgillon]

The way they've structured this is definitely going to cause an immense amount of needless anxiety for students who are neurodiverse, have anxiety disorders, or just about any kind of mental health issue, plus anyone lacking in self-confidence. It's also completely inaccessible to anyone with any kind of unpredictable health issue, and probably dubiously accessible for anyone with English as a second language, as judging how you've done is likely a function of fluency. It's so bad they really need to restructure the entire course, because these issues are going to keep appearing, and it's already possible that students are avoiding the cause because of health/disability issues.

WRT asking for an accommodation, I wonder if there's a case to be made that it's more difficult to assess how you've done given you may miss visual cues in the tutorial?

[cosmolinguist]

Well I'm down as having mental illnesses too and this is absolutely exacerbating my stress and anxiety.

Thinking about it, I've also got in my support plan that I'm not supposed to have to do handwritten work, and all of this is (it's all syntax trees and tables with weird formatting that would be impossible to type, and stuff). I end up having to do it and then copy it out again without all the erasings and mess. It is definitely part of the reason it's so sttressful for me; what I'm supposed to learn gets clouded by how much work it is to make it look decent.

[davidgillon]

I wasn't certain whether your support plan covered mental health as well, but that's a further reason why they should change the course, never mind provide reasonable adjustments. And the chance of missing an inadvertent error in the syntax has to be greater for you than for the other students, never mind they shouldn't be asking you to write them in the first place! They need to ask themselves how they would make the course accessible to someone who is completely blind, because they're scraping through here by dumping the access issues onto you, and that's both unfair to you and something that wouldn't work for someone completely blind.

[magic_at_mungos]

Oh goodness that sounds so stressful. No wonder it’s doing your head in. I hope you get some accommodations even now

[alithea]

*hugs* I hope you get the accommodation and have a nice relaxing weekend to build up some spoons, and that uni seems less overwhelming next week

[barakta]

Ugh, yes I agree your request is reasonable... It's a weird and stupid idea in the first place for reasons others have said.

Sorry today has not started out well, hope it has improved and you got some sleep.