#StillBisexual

[cosmolinguist]

#StillBisexual is a cool project to prove exactly what it says: that people don't stop being bi because they're in long-term relationships or because they seem straight or gay to other people.

The conceit of the videos is that you don't speak during them, you hold up cards/paper with a sentence or so at a time on them.

Here's my stupid face, not looking at the camera. Someone else was standing behind the camera reading what was on the cards so I had some sense of how to arrange my face/how long to leave each to give it a reasonable time to be read before going on to the next, and the person's face was higher up than the camera, so I think I was looking at her not it...But also, I'm never ever looking at the camera in pictures how matter how I try, that's nystagmus for you!

Watch on YouTube

And here's what I said, if you can't/don't want to do video but are still curious:

I got married thinking I was straight.
I moved to the UK with my husband.
I didn't know anybody else there.
I found out about Biphoria, a group for bisexuals.
I wanted to go along but thought I wasn't "bi enough."
I went along anyway. I'm glad I did.
It turns out lots of bis worry that they aren't "bi enough."
We all are.
People say "How can you be bisexual if you're married?"
I reply: "How can you be gay when you're single?"
If their relationships don't define their sexuality, mine shouldn't either.
People see I'm a woman married to a man.
...and assume we must be straight.
They're half right.
He's still straight.
I'm #StillBisexual.

If you're bisexual (or pansexual, queer, anything like that) you can make a video too: directions are here. (I didn't even know all that stuff about including all your dating history or whatever; you clearly don't have to do that because they allowed my video! Given the limit of 20-30 lines I think it's fine to focus on one or two stories or themes.)

Comments

[white_hart]

Oh, that is very cool!

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you!

[softfruit]

Yay!

I thought of the list of what to write as an Ideas Guide cos otherwise for those of us who have lived the bi cliche more the cards would just be a list of names of exes!

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, it's thinking about stuff like that that makes me realize I'm the bisexual cliché, with poly and threesomes and fuckbuddies and stuff, which I never normally think of myself as and which doesn't seem helpful. :)

[moem]

This makes total, utter sense.

[cosmolinguist]

I'm so glad to hear that. :)

[davidgillon]

Like it! And your smile is looking directly at the camera.

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you. :)

[momentsmusicaux]

When you think about it, it really shouldn't be hard for people to relate to. I'm married to a blonde, but that doesn't mean I no longer find brunettes attractive!

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, I don't know what it is about gender that makes people think it's an exception to this kind of rule! I

[finding_helena]

The only thing I can think is that if you are monogamous, getting married is effectively saying that you don't intend to have a partner of a different gender than your spouse's again, and thus that even if you might theoretically like a partner of a different gender, it's basically not relevant.

But this doesn't really go all that far because as you noted with the gay and single comment, it's not about who you are with, but what you prefer.

Personally I never was involved with a woman, though I'd toyed with the idea a bit, but I'm not positive I'm NOT bisexual, but I'm married to a man and don't intend to pursue any other relationships, so basically I put a big question mark over it, and I'm okay with that.

[cosmolinguist]

And "a big question mark" will always be the end result for some people, and that's okay too. Sexuality isn't a puzzle you have to figure out in order to win it. :)

I just think, sure being monogamous means you're ruling out a lot of people, but it means that if you're gay or straight too? I have been monogamous when I thought I was straight and monogamous when I thought I was bi and it didn't feel any differently either time; I didn't think I was "missing out" on anything more once I was bi. It feels the same to have ignore crushes on one gender as it does to ignore crushes on more than one gender. ;)

[kshandra]

I saw this on Twitter! (And retweeted it from the BABN account, since I'm still helping with social media there.)

I should do a video at some point, too...just need to figure out what I'd say, since you've just hit a lot of the same high points I would cover.

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks for the retweet! I am sure there are other videos/activism that tell the same kinds of story as mine, but it not being unique is part of the point. :)

[nanila]

\o/ Nice work. :)

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks. <3

[silveradept]

That's a good campaign.

[cosmolinguist]

It is; it resonates with a lot of people so I think it's really valuable.

[raino]

I don't see anything wrong with where you are looking at. You make wonderful expressions :)

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you! The person reading my words out did a good job of it; I think that elicited the expressions. :)

[quantumcupcakes]

That is such a great idea :)

[cosmolinguist]

It is! It was surprisingly fun to do, a little group of four or five of us, and the #StillBisexual people are super-nice to interact with.