Pick a dilly

[cosmolinguist]

One of the first things I remember about being in Manchester was eating KFC with Andrew in Piccadilly station. When we were done I looked around for somewhere to put our plastic wrappers and Andrew told me I wouldn't find one. I frowned slightly but didn't ask, so it was a while before I learned that the idea is that the IRA can't put bombs in trash bins if they aren't there.

England was so similar to what I was used to that the tiniest things could — and sometimes still do — disarm me, because I'm not expecting anything strange at all. (Not consciously anyway. But I think somewhere in the background, some bit of me is always aware of it. I don't usually notice it, like you don't usually notice that you can see your nose, but it's there. When I'm feeling small or lonely or just ... adrift, a little of that really is because I know the brands of peanut butter are different and because I have nothing to say in a conversation about having to play cricket and rugby at school.)

Maybe I just like Piccadilly for being one of the first things I rmeember, for being both comfortingly familiar — the KFC, after all, and the general capitalist haven there on the concourse — and excitingly strange. Because there are trains! I love trains. I love public transport in general, the smelly buses that always leave just as you're getting to the bus stop and the Metrolink machines that take my money yet give me no ticket. For someone who can't drive and grew up somewhere that youi have to drive, even British public transport is evidence of divine benevolence. And while being the worst of the lot, with their atrocious and inconsistent pricing, their endless ability to make each of their many sins Someone Else's Fault now that they're privatized, trains are also the best.

The other big station in Manchester makes me feel slightly ashamed for liking Piccadilly. Victoria hasn't been rebuit in glass and steel, so while it has its movie posters and vending machines and yellow-edged-for-your-safety stairs, it also still has a little character. As Wikipedia would tell you, "The present Edwardian building has a 160 yard facade, which still carries an iron and glass canopy bearing the names of the original destinations which it served, and a tile map depicting the routes of the Lancashire and Yorkshire Railway which operated from the station until 1923."

But I've spent a lot more time in Piccadilly; only once have I gotten a train from Victoria (and Andrew later said that couldn't have happened, but look! I have proof), so Victoria was just a place to get on or off the tram. But I've spent lots of time in Piccadilly; waiting for the relatively-infrequent trains to Chester so we could visit Andrew's parents, waiting for Andrew at lunchtime or after work when he worked near the station, waiting for irkthepurist and mrs_fhqwhgads, who were on a slower train than they'd anticipated, leaving me lots of time to scrutinize everyone I saw and wonder if I'd recognize them even if I did see them.

And in all that waiting, you hear a lot of train announcements. I get tired of "this is a security announcement" or "this is a platform alteration", but never of the litany of stops: Levenshulme, Heaton Chapel, Stockport, Cheadle Hulme, Handforth, Wilmslow, Alderly Edge, Chelford, Goostrey, Holmes Chapel, Sandbach (pronounced sand-batch of course), Crewe. Mauldeth Road, Burnage, East Didsbury, Gatley, Heald Green, Manchester Airport.

Today's reason I love the internet: auntysarah saying ... joining the tube at Tottenham Hale. That station has a special place in my heart, as the way the woman on the automated announcer thing at Cambridge says it is just so melodious. I think I may have a crush on her over it.

You know, I never thought of it before, and of course I know nothing about the tube, and I don't really get crushes on girls, but I think I know what she means.

At least, I've always liked the sound of Cleethorpes.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Do you and Andrew want to see the VCs(a sci-fi punk/pop band who use a theramin) at the Kings Arms tomorrow night?

[nalsa.livejournal.com]

Leeds, Huddersfield, Stalybridge, Manchester Picadilly, Manchester Oxford Road, Birchwood, Warrington Central, Liverpool Lime Street.

It's been, oh, six years since I last got the train to the family seat but I can still remember the sequence of stations from here to there. One of the things that endears me to the rail network in the UK is that the announcers will give the list of stations when the automated system breaks down, and you can either hear the mad flurry of papers in the background as they try to work out where this route goes, or they'll rattle it off without thinking about it, just like the automatics.

[cosmolinguist]

I have heard precisely that mad flurry of papers! And totally forgotten about it, until you mentioned it, so I'm glad you did.

[gillyg.livejournal.com]

I don't know if she's still there - probably not as it's nearly 20 years ago, but there used to be a woman announcer at York station with the most precise enunciation and an extremely posh accent. I used to listen to her in wonder as she described the departure times of the pay train to Poppleton. I always used to her imagine her sat there in evening dress, long gloves and the family jewels as she announced, rather like the BBC announcers in the 30's.

[cosmolinguist]

I always used to her imagine her sat there in evening dress, long gloves and the family jewels as she announced

That is so cool. Thanks for saying so. :-)

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

There needs to be a "melodious train announcer's fan club" for such things. Much better than spotting the trains themselves!

And thanks for a lovely and enjoyable post.

[cosmolinguist]

There needs to be a "melodious train announcer's fan club" for such things.

Excellent idea; I'd join!

And thanks for a lovely and enjoyable post.

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. It really did all come about from that sentence-and-a-half in your entry; that's what I started with, then I thought I'd just add a little preamble, and then I ended up with all that rambling nonsense you see before you. :-) With your sentence tucked in at the very end.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

I'm honoured. :-)

Isn't it strange how pretty much any little day-to-day observation seems to be able to provide so much distraction when one stops to think about it a bit?

[cosmolinguist]

I don't think declaring that you might have a crush on a train announcer voice is particularly quotidian. :-) What your days must be like, if that's day to day!

But I do see what you mean. I have a tendency — sometimes horrible, sometimes fun — to do just that: think about others' (or my own) offhand remarks until I've twisted them all out of shape.

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

But I do see what you mean. I have a tendency — sometimes horrible, sometimes fun — to do just that: think about others' (or my own) offhand remarks until I've twisted them all out of shape.

Probably no bad thing, evidence of a creative mind. ;-)

[ms-slonim.livejournal.com]

You can only go on holiday from Victoria Station. I love that station. I once snogged a handsome banker in the baby changing bit of the ladies waiting room. That station isn't ruined for me even though I worked at that Godawful Traveller's Fare (called something else now, probably 'Fresh!' or 'The Lemon Tree'. It still sells the same shite though;. Microvaved 'brunch muffins' and 2 day old sandwiches made by a mouthy Scots middle-class woman).
Have they taken that 'PG Tips' add off off Picadilly station's Sign? Taht used to make me so mad. I mean do the Station people need the money that badly that they have to have 'Welcome to Manchester -Drink PG Tips' above the front entrance?

[cosmolinguist]

I once snogged a handsome banker in the baby changing bit of the ladies waiting room.

Sounds like a good story.

And honestly I don't know if it says PG Tips on Piccadilly's sign; I can't remember the last time I was there, and when I was, it was probably just sitting outside Boots with a book, waiting for something. :-) I am woefully unobservant, a lot of the time. But this post has made me really want to go places on trains, so maybe I'll get to go back there some time soon...

[easterbunny.livejournal.com]

My least favourite station is Slough. There's a taxidermied dog on platform 6 - it's in a glass box like Lenin.

[cosmolinguist]

I must confess that this does not surprise me. My dear husband, who hates everywhere that isn't Manchester (and not even all of Manchester is safe), reserves a special hatred for Slough. A while ago, he called his journal "The John Betjeman Appreciation Society," simply because of that line: Come friedly bombs and rain on Slough / It isn't fit for humans now.

[sablin1975.livejournal.com]

Damn,I didn't realise I wasn't logged in! Do you two want to come and see the VCs(complete with Theramin) at the Kings Arms tomorrow(Friday) night?

[cosmolinguist]

That's okay; I figured it'd be you or irrtum. But I'm glad I saw this comment before I called her and, more than likely, merely confused her.

I would like to come! I imagine Andrew will too; he's not home yet but if there's a theremin involved it's a safe bet that he'll enjoy it. And I was just thinking on my way home that it'd be nice to see people and do things again; excellent.

[(Anonymous)]

Shall we meet at Cornerhouse, 7pm?

[cosmolinguist]

Okay, sounds good, see you then! (Though I don't know if you'll see this comment since you're not logged in again. :-))

[sablin1975.livejournal.com]

Just as well I checked your post-see you at 7.

[mllesarah.livejournal.com]

I always liked taking the tram in Montpellier from school to the town center, where I caught my bus, because we got to go through Place Albert 1er, and the lady announcer had a special sort of lilt in her voice, the same with St. Eloi, where my school was. In Laval, the buses didn't have announcements, you just had to keep your eyes open and get off at the right time.

I've spent some time in the Glasgow Queen Street Station, much more than in Central, and also enjoyed the litany of names, that sometimes bore little to no resemblence to the written version of the same town name.

[cosmolinguist]

... that sometimes bore little to no resemblence to the written version of the same town name.

I was thinking the same thing myself; I was just thinking that while I've heard, many times, the names of all the stations I list here, some of them don't sound familiar at all, and I'm sure they're the ones that sound weird when I hear them, the ones that make me wonder What's she saying there?! And I don't even have the excuse that she's speaking French or Glaswegian at me. :-)

[haggis.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about Picadilly. Up til last October, I travelled from Picadilly to work near Chester. The litany of train stations has worked its way into my subconcious. 'Oxford Rd, Newton-le-Willows, Earlstown, Runcorn East ...

I also love the names of little places in any country. When I go home to Scotland, there's an abrupt transistion from English-sounding names to Scottish ones as you go over the border.

[quuf.livejournal.com]

To people who claim there's nothing ethnic about the English, I say, Get a detailed map of England, and take a look at the names of the villages.

Cleethorpes, indeed! And Woomwell, and Chapel-en-le-Frith, and . . .

[classytart.livejournal.com]

I think it's probably best you don't go to Cleethorpes. It might ruin the magic for you a bit. Or you might like it, for the tatty old British holiday destination of it all. It's so flat the tide goes out for 3 miles, so you often can't see it from the Pleasure Beach part.

When I get the train home (to see Mum and Dad) I get the Edinburgh to London line to Doncaster, then the Manchester-Cleethorpes line to Grimsby. It goes through Scunthorpe, which I think is a doozy of a place name. But Lincolnshire's finest names are in the south of the county - Mavis Enderby, Boothby Graffoe etc. Having said that, Mum and Dad live in Alvingham, and my primary school was in North Cockerington.

Derbyshire has a Handley Bottom!


Once, when I was on the train home, the announcer, when we were approaching Newcastle, said we'd be stopping at "Newcastle, Dunbar, Darlington, York, Doncaster, Stevenage and London Kings Cross" there was a pause. Then he came back on and said "That's Newcastle, Dunbar, Darlington. Sorry". There were some bemused frowns shared, then another voice came on the tannoy, trying not to giggle, and said "In fact, we're calling at Newcastle, Durham, Darlington. Because we're going towards London." There was giggling.

[cosmolinguist]

It's good to know even train announcers are fallible. :-)