Self-referential

[cosmolinguist]

I called Andrew passive-aggressive a couple of days ago and he said passive-aggressiveness didn't exist; it was a made-up American thing.

I told this to my friends at the pub quiz last night and demiurgician said, "Wow. That's about the most passive-aggressive thing I've ever heard."

That made me laugh.

Comments

[tevriel.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Yes, it so is.

[cosmolinguist]

It's not entirely an oxymoron; you can vent your aggression in a passive way.

Asking repeatedly for something, and when the person asked reluctantly agrees, saying "oh, are you sure you don't mind?" Letting other people decide things, saying anything was all right, but then being openly miserable at the results of anybody else's decision. Trying to make yourself out to be a martyr, like saying "oh, that's all right, I'll just sit here and be cold, as long as you're happy with the temperature".

N.B. I have a nasty tendency to do this myself, only realizing it afterwards and then being even more annoyed with myself than I am with people around me doing it. So I'm not preaching from a loftier mental state or anything.

The really annoying thing is that, when you finally flip out at someone for this, they can fall back on the literal meaning of their words and say "what's wrong with you? I was trying to be nice! I want you to be comfortable with the temperature of this room" or whatever, blithely not seeing how aggressive their passivity seems.

As for tautology... part of the reason I posted this is that, as we were leaving, Andrew and I had a conversation with irrtum that ended up being about how there should be a word for words that refer to themselves, or osmething. They were talking, I was just confused. But I got the self-referential gist of it, which went along with my theme here.

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

Although it may seem odd to give an example in support and then a correction, this is it:

oxymoron
a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction

So by definition, passive-agressive is entirely an oxymoron. On the other hand, the definition of the term does not preclude the use of oxymoron (how is the plural formed; my spelling checker doesn't include oxymorons) to refer to concepts which exist.

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

To offer another example for holly_lama's explanation:

My third year in the dorms at the university, my roommate would often stay up all night studying. I didn't mind, except that he would, when finished at about 5 A.M., sharpen his pencils using a very noisy electric pencil sharpener.

My response to this was not to ask him to sharpen his pencils some other time, but rather to consider buying him a new, quieter pencil sharpener.

[(Anonymous)]

He sharpened his pencils when he was done? That seems a bit strange anyway, as well as not being very nice at five in the morning.

[cosmolinguist]

Sorry, that was me.

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

It *is* an oxymoron. It's one of those things said by the kind of person who uses the word 'dysfunctional'.

And was there a synonym for synonym?