Cuddles and songs

[cosmolinguist]

I got this book about John Peel recently. And while it was mostly "this happnened and then this happened" (which you'd expect from a biography, really; I'm not complaining) and included a lot of music I was only-vaguely or not-at-all familiar with (which you'd expect from the biography of a British DJ; still not complaining), it also had some good little things in it.

Perhaps my favorite was on the second-to-last page of the book: "When asked to select a song to be played as part of the evening, John's widow Sheila chose 'Does This Train Stop on Merseyside?' by Liverpool band Amsterdam. 'At first I said no when I was asked,' she revealed, 'because I'm not very good at that sort of thing. John just really loved that Amsterdam song. He always became really emotional when he played it. He wasn't capable of playing it without crying. If he played it on the radio, he'd have to put something else on immediately afterwards because he wouldn't be able to speak. And when he played it at home, he'd always need a cuddle afterward."

I reread that paragraph, especially the last sentence, which had immediately caught my attention. How could someone want—"need," even—someone else to cuddle them, just because of a song?

Then I thought of the time Andrew played a certain Ray Charles song (if he's done it more than once while I was around, I only remember this time) called "You Don't Know Me."

"This track," he says here, "more than any other manages to break my heart every time I hear it. I'm a repressed English male not given to great outward shows of emotion but this track is one of very few (Martha by Tom Waits and Kiss Me Baby by the Beach Boys being the only two others I can think of) that make me cry like a little baby when I hear it."*

I didn't notice him crying, but when the Modern Sounds in Country & Western Music Vol. 1 record got to that point, he did peel himself away from his computer and come into the living room where I was and hug me tight. We just stood there like that until the song was over, not (that I remember) talking or moving or anything, just being close, and then when it was over we went back to whateer we'd been doing.

Minnesotans aren't, from what I can tell, much less repressed than the English, but I also have a couple of songs that can make me cry. One is, of all things, a Brian Wilson song. It's called "Still I Dream of It," and I only know about it because of Andrew, of course, but unlike Andrew I can't tell you the history or the context of the song. I don't even know if it exists in any version other than the one I've heard, which sounds like a demo, just Brian playing the piano and singing. Something about the combination of those words and the way he sings them and bangs out a few chords on the piano ... it seems to me about the loneliest thing in the universe.

And I thought of it one night, when I'd either been lying awake or woke up while it was still dark. I don't know why; I can't remember if I'd recently heard it and got it stuck in my head or if I just happened to think of it, but I do remember that I ended up lying there in the dark house in the middle of the night (a lonely time in itself, I've always thought, with everyone else sleeping and quiet), my arm around Andrew, not moving or making any noise but with tears running down my face. So I've learned to be careful thinking about that song.

And the good part is, I now think Andrew, John Peel and I aren't the only three people with songs that make us cry and need a cuddle. Tell me yours, if you like.

---

* I feel a bit silly about repeating this, but I suppose I shouldn't, since he put it on the Internet in the first place.

Comments

[harry-t-skull.livejournal.com]

shangri-las - Never Go Home anymore

[bernmarx.livejournal.com]

I can't think of one that makes me cry or need cuddles everytime, but there are a few that resonate deeply emotionally with me. Two that come to mind are Tool's "jimmy" and Eminem's "Cleanin' Out My Closet."

[cosmolinguist]

That Eminem song used to almost do that for me, but now that my brother's played it so much the only emotion I resonate with when I hear it is "Agh! Turn that off!!" (My brother's ruined a lot of otherwise-good things for me this way.)

[strangeidea.livejournal.com]

Oh, maybe "Fairytale of New York," but the cry and cuddle wouldn't be synonymous. I don't cry in front of anyone.

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

Are you *sure* you're not me?

[strangeidea.livejournal.com]

Not wholly! The internet's a tricky thing, and I wouldn't put it past me to have multiple personalities, wholly unaware of one another, who ended up meeting one another on Livejournal. I mean that would be just my luck.

[cosmolinguist]

Oh, so I might end up marrying you after all?

[strangeidea.livejournal.com]

Well, I already have one wedding planned, but I guess we could make it a double so long as both grooms are the same man. I must warn you though, Amanda's the violent-jealous sort.

[cosmolinguist]

But really, I'm not marrying her fiancé, I'm marrying a totally different person who happens to live in the same body (or is it the same mind?)... Right?

[strangeidea.livejournal.com]

Well, technically, but you know women - no capacity for logical thought! Damn females.

[cosmolinguist]

Perhaps it's best I just stay here, then, and pine for you.

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

I cry at music but don't require the hug for it - I only do that kind of thing on my own... 'Where peaceful waters flow' by Gladys Knight and the Pips. Also 'Winter' by Tori Amos, made even worse when one of my best friends announced that he was having it as his funeral song, damn him!

[cosmolinguist]

Something I didn't mention here is that my mom says she wants played, at her funeral, the one hymn I absolutely hate, both because it's cheesy beyond all belief and because it always makes me cry ... or try very hard not to cry, as I am, of course, not going to cry in front of my mom and all the people in church. Funerals wreck songs!

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

That happens - for a while Roll It Easy by Little Feat did that to me...

[ted-souleater.livejournal.com]

"Albatross," by Fleetwood Mac. Yes, I know it's an instrumental. And no, I'm not being sarcastic.

It doesn't make cry perse, but it's got a lot of soul in it.

My friend Alex Radus has a song called, "Love Is on My To-Do List" which is sort of like that....a tear-jerker. It's not a famous song or anything (he's unsigned and all that), but it's the best ballad I've heard in quite a while. Just beautiful.

[cosmolinguist]

There's no reason an instrumental can't be at least as emotional as anything with words in it; a lot more is conveyed by the sound of it than the sense of the words anyway.

[ted-souleater.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree. The sound can convey a lot more than the words can, in terms of emotion. Of course, it's best when you can marry great words to a great sound.....

[ivana-duboise.livejournal.com]

Puff The Magic Dragon.

[cosmolinguist]

Oh yeah; I remember you telling me that. I always think that's cool, for some reason.

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

There's a version of Still I Dream Of It on the Adult Child album which is if anything even more heartbreaking - this huge, sweeping orchestral arrangement backing a simillarly cracked vocal.