Birthday

[cosmolinguist]

My mom's mom has told me that when they, my grandparents, would go out somewhere they couldn't tell their kids exactly when they'd be back. They quickly learned from experience that if they were thirty seconds or ten minutes late or whatever, she'd be sitting at the window looking out for them and worrying.

Imagine, then, how much worse my mom is going to be when she has her own kids. Not usually one to stay up late, she'd be sitting up in the living room, pretending to look at the TV, when we came in late (or what she thought was late ... I remember one time, after spending a day with comradexavier when we were both still in high school, she was up at twelve-thirty and all irate at me because she'd been expecting me home at supper time).

So what do you think happens when the child of such a person flies away across an ocean ... and doesn't come back when she said she was going to?

I've done that to my parents twice now. This time Andrew and I learned that a return ticket is good not only for impressing the UK immigration officials but also for assuaging my parents' discontent. The only difference is that eventually I feel quite bad for lying to my parents.

I'm supposed to be going back in a few days. By that I mean that when I was asked "Are you coming back?" I'd laugh and say yes, and when I was then asked, "When?" I'd reply "My return ticket is for the 26th of April." Not exactly a lie, you see, for it is. In a few days' time a plane will live from London Gatwick for Dallas-Fort Worth, and my seat on it will be empty.

The 26th of April is also my dad's birthday. Such a nice present I'm giving him this year, not showing up and all.

Comments

[toastedtuna.livejournal.com]

Well. We all have to live our lives the way we need to. Hopefully your parents will understand.

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

Agree with toastedtuna.

:\

However, I am inclined to think that especially since you already did it, they may be expecting you to stay longer this time as well. So maybe you should come right on out and own up to it and be honest? Lying only hurts everyone.

[cosmolinguist]

I thought of that, actually, but that means they're used to me lying when I didn't actually. The last time I came here, my mom arbitrarily came up with the time-limit of two weeks and told herself and everyone else that was true, but I'd never said more than that I don't know. Which was the simple and complete truth. So I don't even think they mind me lying as much as they mind me not doing what they want, i.e. going back to school, getting a job, and being around them all the time. I just hate to be he bearer of bad news, you know?

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It's definitely not easy. *hugs* But telling them would make you feel a lot better, no?

[sporksoma.livejournal.com]

You should be honest with your parents. If you are honest with them they will realize you are grown up and able to make your own grown up decisons.

I guess I could go into a bunch of psychotriatic mumbledyjumbo, asking you why you want to stay with Andrew and stuff and why you just don't come live with us, except that I don't blame you, or something.

Maybe you guys just don't like cats.

....I'd do something about the cats....

[cosmolinguist]

I think I want to stay with Andrew because the allure of Manchester is very great. Also, I think we'd rather have a dog than cats.

[sporksoma.livejournal.com]

We're not allowed to have dogs here 'cuz these people suck. When we move we're getting a puppy from the humane society. Woof woof.

[cosmolinguist]

So you can have the whole menagerie that you do, but no dogs? Seems like a strange rule to me. :-) Where are you moving?

[sporksoma.livejournal.com]

We've prettymuch decided on the Portland, OR area.

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I've probably told you before, but I think you ought to just tell your parents what you really plan to do. It's a lot simpler—and more constructive, I'd argue—to deal with someone's reaction to unwelcome news than to spend time worrying about how badly that person will react.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, I know worrying about it is dumb. But it's hard to talk to them about this. It's hard to talk to them about anything, really, but especially when I've done something I know they won't like.