Gives one pause, doesn't it?

[cosmolinguist]

What is it with aliens and cows? Why do we think aliens should want to steal cows? I see this sort of thing in movies and TV shows too often for it to be a mere coincidence, and I don't understand why cattle are preferred over other types of livestock--or, indeed, other living things in general. I cannot see how they are more enticing to extraterrestrials, and I cannot see any great comedic advantage they have over other possible victims of alien abduction. Any insights on the matter would be welcome.

Comments

[angel-thane.livejournal.com]

Beef is Tasty.

[cosmolinguist]

How do the aliens know that?

[angel-thane.livejournal.com]

Maybe they picked up a cow the first time they were here, confusing them for humans (bad recon). Upon commencind the heat activated anal probing, they noticed a the smell of grilling meat, and got hungry.

Once they had some fresh internal rotisserie cow, they just couldn't get enough.

[cosmolinguist]

But what makes you think they'd be looking for humans? I think the human assumption that a) all kinds of UFOs from technologically-advanced cultures have travelled light-years because Earth is so ineresting and b) they travelled to Earth to look at humans is very silly indeed.

[angel-thane.livejournal.com]

As to point a) I don't think that that is a very great assumption at all. When one considers the sparcity of planets in the known universe (of all the stars we've tallied, less than a dozen at last count have planets) and the sparcity of those planets that are capable of supporting advanced life (at present, three, and that's only if you include Mars and Venus for what they might used to have had) then any advanced cilization (assuming that they weren't so advanced as to have tallied the entire universe) would probably jump at the opportunity to investigate a planet that had intelligent life - I know that we as people certainly would if we found it elsewhere.

As to point b) again, it seems egotistical, until you break it down. Any extraplanetary civilization that is capable of intersteller travel has got to be fairly well advanced. Finding a more primitive and less technologically advanced form of intelligent life (us) woudl at the very least, stand a good chance of being able to highlight their distant past. ETarcheologists would probably relish the chance to examine a society that is (for the sake of argument) 2500 years behind their own.

Imagine if archeologists today were to discover a remote island, where the denizens were completely untouched by modern society, and were functioning at a technological level of the romans (or the aztecs, or anybody) from 500 BCE. Do you really think that they wouldn't try to quietly study them, to lean more about ourselves?

I think they would.

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it is a Hindu-alien thing.

[chuck-lw.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. Hindu aliens don't hurt cows. In fact, Hindu aliens will move their UFO out of its parking spot if it's blocking the path of a holy cow.

Now they may contemplate and worship the rectums of living cows, but they won't core them out. Major difference.:-)

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

Is it really a UFO if it's parked?

I didn't know we were talking about the coring of cows, necessarily, just general interest in them.

[angel-thane.livejournal.com]

Technically no, but UPO just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[comradexavier.livejournal.com]

I read that and immediately thought, "Unidentified Post Office."

[cosmolinguist]

Oh, good, that means I'm not the only one. :-)

[angel-thane.livejournal.com]

Gotta be careful about those heavily armed fortresses... ;)

[cosmolinguist]

The TV shows and movies don't really imply that the aliens--Hindu or not--are hurting the cows, anyway. Well, sometimes the cows end up turned inside-out...but I have it on good authority that that was an accident made by the new guy.

Hmmmmm...

[ottercat.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of a Kids in the Hall skit, where two aliens are bemoaning the fact that they've come all these billions and billions of miles, just to do anal probes. And why anal probes? It's not like they are good for anything, except that they've learned that one in ten like it.....

[5-rings.livejournal.com]

It seems obvious that alien interest in cows obtains from the fact that cattle are a vital link in the food supply chain of fat Americans. Thus, regular samples of cows of different breeds are taken for the alien purposes of constructing a bovine genome project.

Once the aliens can manipulate the genes of our cattle at ease, they will set out on their grand plan: to introduce genetically-engineered mind control agents into the meat and milk of cows. Once they have made a majority of the population addicted to mind-controlling cattle byproducts, they will descend in their UFOs and enslave the newly-submissive populace, forcing us to do their bidding and listen to Kelis' song "Milkshake" all hours of the day until we all die a horrible, nasal rap song-induced death.

[ivana-duboise.livejournal.com]

And the USSR was blamed for everything.

[ivana-duboise.livejournal.com]

They're tainting our major form of consumed meat so that we'll die off and then they can inhabit our planet.

[dracole.livejournal.com]

Intergalactic McDonalds, the bastards are everywhere. 1 billion planets served. They just keep taking our beef, damn it. ;p

[gfjames.livejournal.com]

Maybe on their home planet cows are human OR maybe they have a fetish for ugly large objects and view cows as "big" gals and want to take them all home to meet their mothers (the alien mothers, that is).

[cosmolinguist]

A cow fetish is a great idea I'd not previously considered. Must have an interesting porn industry on their planet...

[gfjames.livejournal.com]

I'm not so sure a cow fetish is a good idea--I mean I know it ain't so great for the cow. And I know I wouldn't want one--if I'm having some sort of animal fetish, I'd like to have it with an animal who's a little more versitile...

I take it you're over you little snit with me?