My mom and packing

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you, Mom, for being anal-retentive to an almost intolerable degree, so that I let you get away with 'helping' me pack for my 'vacation' even though it makes me feel like I'm about half as old as I am. It seemed worth it because I wanted my departure to go smoothly, I wanted to avoid reminding you of what a bad person I must be since I'm doing something you don't like.

Thanks for refusing to let me bring the Che Guevara pants, my most treasured article of clothing, which also leaves me with one pair of pants (or 'trousers,' now that I'm in England) to wear. The skirts and dresses are nice, but nowhere near as nice as my Che Guevara pants. You know how much I like those, and you're not often aware of things I like. Thanks for reminding me that 'looking decent' is more important than being happy.

Thanks for packing a lot of stuff I'll never wear--for, in fact, deliberately buying things just before I left that I told you I didn't want and would not wear. I don't like them.

Thanks for worrying so much about my clothes getting wrinkled that you packed them with pieces of tissue paper between them, a bizarre and inconvenient strategy that has resulted in a wad of tissue paper on the floor in Andrew's room and not much else. The clothes still in my suitcase are simply in a big pile...and those are the lucky ones. I know you'd have a conniption if you saw this deplorable state of things, but I also know I can never please you. Even my t-shirts are always too wrinkled for your liking.

But most of all, thanks for ignoring me when I suggested bringing a jacket. I wonder if you do really understand that weather is not the same everywhere. Every time you called me at college you'd talk about the weather, and if I told you it'd been different where I was, 200 miles away, you'd seem surprisd. You seem to believe all weather forecasts you hear, disregarding the fact that they may be from Iowa or the Twin Cities and thus probably not applicable to us. And thus, though it finally got around to feeling like summer in Minnesota a few days before I left, the weather is not the same in Manchester. I'm farther north, and I'm in a country where it rains all the time. So on the rare occasions when we go outside, I often find myself cold and wet. Thanks for that most of all.

Comments

[cosmolinguist]

Of course I'm birching. You were warned. I know it's not fun to read, but I didn't make you do it. This journal is not just a forum for entertainment but sometimes also about what I think, and if I think unpleasant things that's what I write about.

I know she's trying to be helpful. She reminds me of it all the time. It's been this way forever, and eventually one starts to wonder 'but doesn't she care at all whether her 'help' is actually helping me?'

And yes, I realize that I can buy a jacket. I intend to. That is not the point I was making here. Also, I just spent my last three pounds on food so we'd have something to eat between last night and tomorrow night, so forgive me if your suggestion doesn't really seem all that helpful.

[kratkrat.livejournal.com]

Of course I'm birching. You were warned.

You're allowed to bitch. Sort of what LJ is for, if you want my (admittedly unsolicited) $.02 or so. And, like you said... warning us and hiding it behind a cut-tag was about all you could do. If somebody wants to take issue... feh.

I hope you get a cool Manchester United jacket! Then you could kick soccer balls above and to the right of targets all you want! [EVIL GRIN]

[cosmolinguist]

That's a great idea--it also has the advantage that my dad would be jealous and Andrew would hate me.

[parakleta.livejournal.com]

When I packed my stuff to move out of home, my parents refused to have anything to do with it. They were of the opinion that I had too much crap, and maybe if I had to sort through it all myself I'd notice and actually throw some of it out. I noticed about 12 months ago, after moving for the 5th time since leaving home, only about 5 years since I moved out of home. I got there in the end, and if I'd listened it would have saved me so much hassle moving stuff.

On the other hand, I still haven't actually been able to bring myself to throw anything out. I'm only just up to admitting that I should. I'm sure I can work my way back into denial if I really focus.

[cosmolinguist]

See, I'm always a big fan of throwing things away. I keep taking only the things I really want with me when I go to college, and I don't miss anything that's left at home (besides the occasional book). So when I go home and see that my room is so full of stuff it's hard to find places to put the things I brought home from school, the things I actually like and want, that's rather dismaying to me. My mom keeps threatening to buy me new clothes, and I tell her my closet's full of clothes, and she says she'll get rid of all of them, I consider that idea. I wish she really would do that. (She doesn't, of course, because she doesn't think I have enough clothes. :-)) Same with all the other stuff: sell it, toss it, or if I really think it should be saved, put it in a box and stick it in the basement. But that never happens.

[dawgdays.livejournal.com]

Well, given the info in your profile, I suspect she still thinks of you as a kid. Unfortunately, she tells you to do what she would do, instead of asking, "where are you going, what are you going to do, and what do you really need for that?"

If she had asked that, you'd have a jacket and more pants, fewer skirts that you're not going to wear, none of that silly tissue paper to deal with, and a fewer bad feelings toward her.

'Tis unfortunate.

[cosmolinguist]

she tells you to do what she would do...

Yes, exactly. She always has; I've come to expect it.

(Though, for the record, it's not the skirts I wouldn't wear. :-) Those I like. I still would've had only two pairs of pants with me...that's just quite a bit more than one.)

[miss-newham.livejournal.com]

It concerns me when I read that my Livejournal friends are penniless. Can I help in any way? I'm afraid I chuckled about the tissue paper though.

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

Don't worry - we're financially OK. Holly didn't bring much money over, and I had some financial problems we knew were going to be happening in advance, so we've had a few days without much money. But Holly isn't going to starve or anything - we just spent too much money on going out last week and are paying the price now til this evening ;)

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks for the offer, my dear.

And of course you chuckled at the tissue paper; it's an inherently ridiculous thin. I was ashamed of my mom in customs.

[cosmolinguist]

Thing, even. Not thin.

[kalieris.livejournal.com]

((hugs)) Does one of you have a paypal account? I get paid next week and can easily and happily send you something that way.

I'm sorry it's such a struggle with your mom. My parents were so utterly like that, and I know it's difficult to balance doing what you think is appropriate with feeling like you have to keep the peace. ((more hugs))

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

That's a very sweet thought, Helga, but even if we were badly in need of money (which we aren't - we're short of cash, but not that badly) neither of us would want to take anything from you.
=hugs= We're both OK. Holly was just annoyed, that's all.

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks for the offer, dear.

And I seem to remember getting sympathy from you before on the subject of my parents. It sucks that my friends also have annoying families, but having them understand my situation is nice. Especially since not everyone else is so sympathetic. :-)

[toastedtuna.livejournal.com]

Damn! Your mother doesn't get out much, does she?

[cosmolinguist]

A bit of an understatement, that. :-)

READ ME!!!!

[evil-grapefruit.livejournal.com]

Holly Honey, Let me help you... how long are you going to be there if it is going to be there for awhile after I get back, let me send you some things... I have nice jacket if you would like, you know that. We are in Prague and having the time of our lives, Please Please respond to this ASAP Andrew said that you two might come and visit, and I need to know if you are... I leave at the end of the week. I love you bunchs, and of course need to spill bunches of good stuff, as well as ask you about your english lover. Email me Andrews tele number and I will call you as soon as I get it. Then we can chat... I don't really have anything better to do... well besides get drunk, and god knows I do that well enough.

Re: READ ME!!!!

[stealthmunchkin.livejournal.com]

My number is (+44) 0161 795 9062, and we'd always be delighted to hear from you...

The tissue thing is just neurotic.

[mwittier.livejournal.com]

Alright, I am so breaking into your mom's house and overnighting you those damn pants.

You don't think she's taking advantage of your being so remote to dispose of them, do you? I'm almost serious, for two cents, I'd go pound on her door and when she answered, say, "Woman, what's wrong with you? Now get me the damn Che Guevara pants, and quit wasting my time. HOP TO IT, GO!".

And I'd purposely do it during the weather report, so she'd miss hearing that nice Belinda talking about warm fronts in her impossible MN State Fair accent.

M.

[cosmolinguist]

I think one of the reasons I like to whine about the way my family drives me crazy is that my LJ friends remind me that it is in fact they who are crazy and not me. The insanity will suck me in, otherwise, if I am not careful. It's comments like this one that yank me out of that and make me grin uncontrollably. Thanks.