Thinking

[cosmolinguist]

evil_grapefruit and I watched Swimming Pool yesterday, since neither of us had seen it yet.

Near the beginning, we watched a writer talk on the phone with her agent (or something like that; I don't know who he was exactly and it didn't bother me). He was letting her stay at his house in France--they live in London, and going from England to France is about as difficult as blinking, according to all movies ever--because she was burnt out from writing incredibly popular crime novels. So she asks when he's going to come visit, and he weasels out of the question.

Jenn said, "Aww," and I said, "She likes him...and he doesn't like her," but I was just guessing.

"Oh, I don't think it's that he doesn't like her," Jenn said. "He just doesn't think about her."

Of course. He thought about her, naturally; she was one of his clients. But that's probably all that he thought concerning her, "one of my clients." While she thought of him as special, it seemed.

"Yeah, not thinking about someone is different from not liking them," I agreed.

"It's worse, almost," Jenn said.

I agree with that, too, but did not say anything.

Comments

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

This post reminds me of the "actions speak louder than words" question I posed last night when we talked online.

Someone could say they like/love you, but if they don't have the actions to back it up, are the words really valid?

You'd think if you liked/loved someone they would be a regular part of your thoughts. It is worse knowing someone says kind words to you but doesn't think of you. How important can you be to them if they don't think of you, you know?

This has as much validity with friendships as relationships. I value you as one of my good friends, but you may not believe it as much if I didn't send you random things in the mail to show that I do think of you or IM you on a regular basis.

So, in summary, everyone should say what they mean, mean what they say, and act upon what they say and feel to show they mean it.

Thank you.

Not too much to ask, right? :-)

[cosmolinguist]

So, in summary, everyone should say what they mean, mean what they say, and act upon what they say and feel to show they mean it.

Thank you.

That made me smile.

Few things bother me as insincerity does. If you don't like me, fine. But don't pretend. I have no patience for that. And if you do like me, you should be able to reassure me on demand, if I think it's necessary. I am the boss, and them are the rules.

Re: Not too much to ask, right? :-)

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's asking too much at all. Humans are predispositioned to have insecurities, and we all need reassurance, especially in relationships. In the end, it helps you outwardly show (without demand hopefully!) that you care for someone. And that's not a bad thing. :)

Those are good rules. :)

Re: Not too much to ask, right? :-)

[gentleman-lech.livejournal.com]

Those are perfectly acceptable rules. In fact, they're good rules.

I've always said that I prefer the honest truth, no matter how painful it is, than sugar-coated lies meant to make me feel good. If you really want me to feel good, you'll do it the right way, rather than trying to shovel bullshit on top of me. 'Cause no matter how much you try to dress it up in fancy perfume, it's still going to smell.

And just for the record, I'm one of those people who actually practices what he preaches. If I'm demanding nothing but the honest truth, that's all I'm giving out, too.

Cool!

[cosmolinguist]

So all these scandalously flirtateous things you say to the likes of me and paninogirl are true, eh?

Re: Cool!

[gentleman-lech.livejournal.com]

Yes, they are. But since I'm not married or anything, I didn't actually think they were scandalous. :)

[etoilepb.livejournal.com]

and going from England to France is about as difficult as blinking, according to all movies ever

Well, as long as you're not totally strapped for cash, it's about as difficult as going from Boston to New York, which people do for the weekend all the time.

Mm, New York... I should go for the weekend sometime.

[cosmolinguist]

I know, it really is that easy. Consider it a bitter statement from a girl who lives on the prairie. :-) And has no car. I'm lucky if I get to go to a town big enough to have a Target. Going to Boston, New York, Paris, or London would be a massive event the likes of which my life has never seen before. :-)

[etoilepb.livejournal.com]

I saved up for a year and went to London for spring break my senior year -- a year ago this past week, actually. I may never get to go again, but I'm glad I went when I had the chance. :)

(And Boston, in terms of a place to visit, probably isn't the best, but if you ever happen to I'd be happy to show you around. ;) )

[cosmolinguist]

I am apparently the only English major here who has not been to England, I think. :-) It's cool, though, because I get to hear them talk about seeing the Globe Theatre, or the Lindisfarm Gospels or lots of other things we talk about in our English classes.

Boston is actually one of the places evil_grapefruit mentioned moving to for the summer. She asked me to come with her but I don't think I'll be able to leave Minnesota as easily as she can, much as I may like to. I want to go to Boston, if nothing else, to see a game at Fenway. :-)

[etoilepb.livejournal.com]

Those of us who live here can barely even see a game at Fenway! Bleacher seats are now $20 or over, I think, and most of the season sold out in February. So sad, especially because Fenway's so close! (It's a 10 minute walk from the building all my classes are in.)