Headlights Caught In Deer

[cosmolinguist]

I'd ordered this cake--Jenn and I wanted marble, and white frosting, and when the lady taking the order asked me what it should say, I had to laugh. "It should say 'Josh is stupid,' " I said, hardly able to believe such a ridiculous thing was coming out of my mouth.

"It's for a divorce party," Jenn explained (though I don't know if that made the lady think better or worse of us.) "In capital letters!" she added. And then she and the lady both said "With exclamation points" at about the same time, only it was an exclamation for one and a question for the other.

It was a beautiful cake. And Jenn brought over this big Tupperware container full of wedding stuff, so we lit the unity candle and put it on the coffee table as a decoration, and she wore the tiara that her veil'd been attached to, everybody signed the guest book (on the last page, she insisted, probably so she can rip it out if the need arises). The JOSH IS STUPID!! cake was cut and served with her fancy cake knife and server from the wedding ... and a friend of hers, who'd been an usher and cut cake for her wedding, cut this cake too.

Best of all, though, Jenn had me make copies of her marriage license and hand them out to everyone. We got Sarah's crayons and attacked them--now the door of our apartment is covered in depictions of everyhing from the devil and a bleeding corpse to a nice landscape to a dead tulip.

Comments

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

While the things you guys did do sound amusing, part of me is kinda sad reading the events of Jenn's divorce party. Heh, it's probably the romantic part of me that hopes to only get married once... :)

[cosmolinguist]

People tell me that I'm not a romantic--that I am, in fact, anti-romantic, and maybe that's true because I just don't see the attraction of staying with one person forever.

I mean, it's nice and I'd be happy to be so lucky, but it sounds like a potentially difficult thing and I wouldn't be surprised if I--or other people--didn't get it completely figured out immediately. Even if you really think you want to marry someone (or whatever), that can be drastically different a month or a year later.

Geting divorced might be sucky and painful--and this case, despite the party, is no different--but Jenn assented to the idea, which was of course a pre-requisite for all of it, and she seemed amused if still kind of sharing your feelings about how sad it was.

But, hey, she's getting divorced; sadness is inevitable. At least this way, she can be somewhat happy too ... and she knows she has friends who support her "rejecting her traditional sociocultural role" (as it said on the invitations. Unless they just wanted cake. :-D

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

Don't see the attraction of staying with one person forever? I don't know if that sounds like an anti-romantic -- it kind of sounds manly to me! Hehe... :)

I do agree that while you may feel you could be happy with someone forever, that feeling may change within a year, amonth, or even a week. Life is crazy like that.

I understand that the idea of being with one person forever doesn't appeal to you. I guess I feel that if I had that mindset, there wouldn't be a point in me being in relationships because I knew they would eventually end. I wouldn't want to expend the energy in them if I didn't think they were going anywhere.

I guess I'll always be a romantic. I want someone to care about me deeply, and have that care continue unconditionally for a long time. Too many people come and go in my life, and for once I would like just one person to remain stable in it.

[cosmolinguist]

I shouldn't have said "attraction" of staying with one person forever. I do understand that. As I said, I like the idea and would not complain if I found someone to whom I liked being married even when we're old and decrepit. There are few things cooler to me than people who are used to each other, know each other really well ... and still like each other anyway.

I should have said I don't see the necessity of finding one person 'til death do you part. (I'm not even sold on the idea of necessarily being involved with only one person at a time!) And while I see your point about not wanting to waste your blood, sweat and tears on a relationship that's doomed to end, I guess I'm less concerned with the permanence of them, because I don't think much in life is consistent--I'm not, so I don't expect others to be, just as I don't expect myself to be.

As you may have noticed, though, this doesn't mean I take my romantic relationships lightly--far from it. I seem to have found a decent compromise: I try hard and take these things seriously, and I'd be disappointed if my S.O. wasn't doing likewise ... but I don't ask for perfection, forever. Because I'm not offering it to them, I'm sure.

This philosophy has a carpe-diem flavor that I like, but I also am indeed not too romantic about these sorts of things. I know there are practical concerns that can, and even should, enter your considerations when you're in a relationship--the things usually thought of as boring and unimportant, like how well do you get along with this person? can you share money, chores, sleeping arangements? Being able to do that kind of stuff is more attractive to me as getting flowers and candy. But I'm weird, I know.

[paninogirl.livejournal.com]

You hold feelings that many people do about dating and relationships, so don't put yourself down.

I guess my lack of self-esteem at times makes me want to know that someone truly cares about me deeply. Being in a committed relationship lets me know that someone does.

You mentioned that you are not consistent, as are people around you. I guess I differ in that I try to be consistent with friends. I have a big heart, and I excessively try to show people I care.

The inconsistencies of all of my friends and family have me worried. If I went to the emergency room, who would be there for me? My mom went to the emergency room today, and has to stay overnight. She called me probably because she knew I'd be there for her. And I was. I've been worried about her all day.

I guess I fear being lonely. My mom seems lonely, and I don't want to end up like that.

(P.S. She's doing okay.)

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

That's awesome!!!
I wonder what other weird things people ask to have written on cakes?

[cosmolinguist]

Sarah, Matthew and I actually discussed that on the way home after picking up the cake. We were sort of impressed to see "JOSH IS STUPID!!" written in red with little sprinkles around it; it had a delicious incongruity to it (not to mention the delicious sugary taste that we got to enjoy later ... ).

THe only other time I've ordered a cake it was for another friend's bridal shower, actually (which was much more a party than a shower; to the horror of the girly-girls, males were invited and no stupid games were played). We couldn't decide if we wanted it to say "Cake or death?" (a classic and much-beloved Eddie Izzard reference) or "Mawwage is what bwings us togevver today" (from The Princess Bride of course). So we compromised, and that one said "Cake or death ... or mawwage?" So I guess I've never ordered a cake that said anything normal on it ...

[autumnsshadow.livejournal.com]

May you never order a normal cake again...down with normalcy!!!

[mllesarah.livejournal.com]

If there are divorce parties, and I am sure there are break up parties, do you think that you could do a breakup cake? You could order a cake that said "It's not you, it's me. I think we should stop seeing eachother" And send it to them. It would be really mean, but then the person who got broken up with would get to comfort themself with the suger. Better yet, you could show up at their door with the cake, and let them vent their anger by throwing the cake in your face. It might be helpful anger management tool...

[ryanbrenizer.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a blast. I attended a divorce party of another kind today, and the camaraderie was great.

[xsilverfox.livejournal.com]

Well this certainly is interesting, first I've heard of it. Where have been? In the cellar? *looks around* Yes I actually am in the cellar.

Its to bad when a marriage, but if it wasn't meant to be there's no point in dragging it out (For example: my parents years ago) I guess now I don't have to feel bad about forgetting to get them a wedding gift.

[cosmolinguist]

First you've heard of it? We only thought of it on Wednesday. I mentioned it that day in my journal, even. Not my fault if you're not paying attention. :-D

[silverwraith.livejournal.com]

I've noticed this before, but keep forgetting to comment on it. I'm always amused when I read about Jenn and Sarah in your journal, because I'm a Sarah and my co-best friend is Jenn. freaky how your Jenn and Sarah would spell their names the exact same way. it cues the Twilight Zone music when both of them show up in the same entry.

Welcome to a land beyond sight and sound ...

[cosmolinguist]

I'm always happy to provide a little surrealism in my friends' lives.