Forget "fat"--does my butt look pointy in these pants?

[cosmolinguist]

I began to wonder today if there isn't something wrong with my butt. In the past month or so, I've had three pairs of jeans randomly tear badly enough to be irreparable in all but one case (and my mom said that was tenuous and probably wouldn't last long, so I shouldn't wear them in public or something).

One tore near--but of course, not on--the seam running from hip to ankle, one was just under the back pocket, one was either on the back or the inside of my left thigh, I can't remember now. These all happened not from me snagging something or living an interesting life, but just from walking, sitting down, boring things that jeans should be able to handle!

This is a disturbing trend, if only beause pants are expensive and important to me. I have three pairs now--and two of them are brand-new, bought by Mutti to replace the first two that disintegrated--so they better be okay for a while!

It's not as if I'm buying them from Wal-Mart or something. I'm of the school of thought that says buying decent quality things means you not only have decent things, but that they'll outlast the cheap things while being intrinsically cooler and better all the while. So I buy jeans at Maurice's. They're nice and I love them; I'm probably just wearing them out (the last ones I actually wasn't surprised at; maybe I'm just getting used to this happening, but they were my oldest pair and seemed to be wearing thin).

Either that, or my butt, which I've always thought to be soft and round, is actually prickly or spiky and somehow tears through denim.

Comments

[ismelljello.livejournal.com]

It yearns for world domination. Releasing its oppresive denim shackles is but the first step. :P

[tragicallyjulia.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree.
It is saying (and I'm imagining a German accent for it),
"My supreme excellence cannot be contained by flimsy denim, and I will not be debased by inferior fabrics! I need sunlight, I need air! I must be SEEN, damn you!"
*ripping sound follows*
;-)

[cosmolinguist]

Naturally--after the content of my LiveJournal today, my butt would have to have a German accent.

[scarlett-harlot.livejournal.com]

*realises she's just found the answer to that whole 'is it possible to die laughing' question*

God. Damn. Funny.

*expires*

[kratkrat.livejournal.com]

I began to wonder today if there isn't something wrong with my butt.

I need to keep a list of "Top 10 LiveJournal Entry Introductions," because that would be on it.

[cosmolinguist]

Actually, I'd be rather interested to see what such a list would include. I hope you make one soon. :-)

[kratkrat.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh... I think I just gave myself an assignment somehow... [CHUCKLE]

[kingnuthing.livejournal.com]

Want to know if your butt is weird??? Um...*ahem*...gee, post a picture and we'll tell you!! Hehe...

[cosmolinguist]

Nice try. :-) Sadly, I'll not be able to indulge you.

[scarlett-harlot.livejournal.com]

I had a week when buttons (on jeans, jackets, bags [the fasteny thingies]) and zippers (jeans, jackets, the zipper in my wallet that keeps the spare change from contaminating my bag) just kept flying off, and/or breaking at the most inappropriate of times.

I think clothing is possibly out to get us.

Or you may have a pointy spike-covered jeans-ripping butt. I'm not quite sure :P

[mr-orgash.livejournal.com]

Statistics (from no-less an authority than the Levi Straus people even) show that 78% of people who wear jeans spend their time sitting down, thus that part of the product wears out fastest...

Oh...

And the other 32%?

Well,

it breaks down this way:

8% wear out the side/front pockets and the ends (by the feet)

12% wear out the fly/buttons (for the obvious reasons)

AND


12% wear out the knees while wearing out the fly/button on somebody else's jeans.


Wonder how they know that?

[fundabonka.livejournal.com]

12% wear out the knees while wearing out the fly/button on somebody else's jeans.


Heheheh, how did they get that answer? Maybe the denim guys been spying, or those jeans have a microscpic camera. (ok stop being cheesy *ahem*)

Once i went shopping with my jeans torn at my butt. I didn't even realize it until my sis told me it was torn after i had come home.

Re:

[cosmolinguist]

This most recent time was the first time pants have torn on me when I was in a public place--Target, actually--but I was wearing a jacket and so luckily people did not have to look at my underwear anyway.