My brain's so weird

[cosmolinguist]

When I was first married, and struggling with how miserable and strange my wedding was, a lot of my friends suggested having some other kind of ceremony more like how I'd have wanted it and less tainted by the emotional rawness of my brother having just died.

I always said I could see the appeal of this in some ways but in other ways it'd just be another thing for me to sort out on my own and anyway Andrew hated the first wedding enough that I can't imagine him offering me anything better than tolerance and humoring me for such a plan, and the whole point of this would be to remove the aspect of obligation and having to please other people from a wedding.

After a while I didn't think about the wedding so much any more and the idea didn't seem at all interesting to any more.

So after years of not thinking about it, I dreamed it last night.

It was so vivid. I can tell you the dress I was wearing -- bright red, and a bit girly for me but I was very happy with it -- and that everybody I know was there. I wasn't dreaming I was in the past, I was dreaming everybody I know now and I knew in the dream that I had been married a while by now.

But it was a big party and everyone was really happy for me and I was really happy. And I woke up feeling like that's almost as good, or maybe better, than having to plan and arrange it in my waking life.

Comments

[kaberett]

:-)

[silveradept]

That's a really great dream. I think red is a good dress color.

[cosmolinguist]

I think so too :) It was an amazing dress.

[newandrewhickey.livejournal.com]

The reasons I hated the first wedding definitely wouldn't apply if we had a renewal ceremony though. And if you did want that, I'd definitely help with the planning.

[cosmolinguist]

I don't want it now - too many people I'd want to be there couldn't -- but thanks for letting me know.

[uglybuffy.livejournal.com]

If you want a second wedding I can help!

[cosmolinguist]

Thank you :) It still couldn't be as amazing as yours!