Every time

[cosmolinguist]

Light is fixed. Like everybody said, the starters needed replacing.

Such a simple solution, after all that angst.. I'm grateful that these things are relatively straightforward because I'm already running on empty, but it also makes me feel sheepish about flying off the handle.

haggis was kind enough to drive me to B&Q twice in less than 24 hours when that became necessary, and after buying my starters and her carefully choosing a new bedside lamp (which unfortunately took long enough that I had plenty of opportunity to get excited at overhead lights I'd love to have in my house, especially because I so hate the lights in my kitchen) we went back to hers to hang up some paintings.

She had some complex damage-free picture-hanging stuff, so we carefully measured and made marks on the wall -- blue-tack and string got involved -- and pressed and held the sticky stuff on the back of the painting, and then pressed and held the painting on the wall...and then it didn't stay. And a bit of the paint came off along with the sticky stuff. And this led us to the conclusion that the poor paint job needs to be stripped off and the room repainted.

I sympathize and empathize so much with haggis's plight here. Looking forward to having the beloved paintings up on display, instead she faces a big new task that's comprised of several small tasks: because the paint is coming off so easily, she thinks that won't be helping the sticky stuff stick to the wall, so the paint has to be stripped, the room has to be repainted, the stuff has to be moved out of the room so it can be repainted, so a place has to be found to move all that stuff into, and then after all that is done we're back to the original problem of the best way to get these paintings hung on these walls

I certainly wouldn't wish such a problem on her. But since it's there, watching how she reacted to it was really good for me because I so thoroughly identified with it, and it helped me to see how someone else dealt with the situation. It feels very lonely when I find myself lacking some skill, knowledge or information that becomes necessary. Often I don't even know the right questions to ask or where to start seeking answers.

I am not alone in my struggles. I am not doing particularly badly.

It's hard to believe these things when that's exactly what it feels like, but that's also when it's most important to remember.

Taking two days and a mini-nervous breakdown to get some light in the basement seems, to say the least, not a very sustainable method of solving this kind of problem: I don’t want to flounder every time there's a crisis and feel stupid and get upset until one of my friends bails me out with the essential knowledge or ability that I'm lacking. It's too hard on my emotional and mental health. I suspect there's some comprehensive solution that consists of both increasing my resilience and finding some good resources for the the known-unknowns and the unknown-unknowns of DIY and being responsible for a house.

For now, I'm just glad that I have so many generous, kind, adept, and above all supportive friends catching me every time I stumble.

Comments

[sfred]

I used to have (I think it belongs to my ex) a big book of DIY and home maintenance, which I imagine is all replicated on the internet, but I found the book comforting.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, I'm sure the internet contains all the information I could need to know, but I find it difficult to get to the right bit. A book would be much better :) A couple of my friends have such books and they seem really useful; I've been meaning for a while to find one for myself.

[momentsmusicaux.livejournal.com]

What I would do is drill holes in the wall to hang the painting, then hang them in such a way that they cover up the damage to the paintwork. But I suppose the original reason for the choice of materials might be that they're renting, and can't drill holes... also, I've made total messes in the past drilling holes, so I'm not the best authority.

There are very good books that claim to cover a wide variety of home repair jobs; I have one kicking around somewhere. Mine has things from changing fuses to the best order in which to paint a panelled door, to cutting tiles and so on.

It is hard to feel responsible for a house, with every new little thing that needs doing.

[haggis.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your comments :). It's my house so I don't need to worry about hiding the damage from a landlord. I had already considered the option of hiding the damage under the picture but that won't work for all of it.

I am not too downcast about it but it is way down my priority list for the moment.

[haggis.livejournal.com]

I don’t want to flounder every time there's a crisis and feel stupid and get upset until one of my friends bails me out with the essential knowledge or ability that I'm lacking.

Does it help that I was utterly floundering with basic stuff like putting the washing on and tidying my floor and having you come round helped me get SO much done? We are all floundering together and we will vanquish things like houses and decorating, I goddamn promise.

[cosmolinguist]

I know I'm not the only flounderer, but what's concerning me here is that I'd like to skip at least some of the exhausting and inconvenient process of freaking out quite so much about everything and squandering my energy on such unproductive emotional flailing. At the moment it feels like I have to go through the "I hate owning a house and I hate my dad being too far away and I hate not having enough money to fix problems and I hate decision fatigue and..." etc.etc. stage before I can get to any useful stage where I can do stuff. I get exhausted and impatient with it so would like to skip at least some of that if possible, is all.