Fuck cancer.
Oct. 19th, 2014 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cosmolinguistMy parents have a few couples they're friends with, the six or eight of them have been doing stuff together and sharing their lives since in some cases before I was born.
One half of one of those couples, Karen, has been in hospice care for the last week or so and apparently it's a matter of hours rather even than days now.
"Battling cancer" is a cliché, but Karen really did. She's been sick for so long, had several surgeries and some intimdating-sounding elective treatments. She religiously followed advice in books like those written by Andrew's uncle about vitamin intake and dietary changes for cancer patients. She bought beautiful headscarves and stylish clothes in new tiny sizes to hide the outward side effects of the chemotherapy. The tumors have attacked so many parts of her body, including her brain, ensuring she'd lose her memory and her voice and her personality even before she will lose her life. Apparently her sort of cancer is one of the most aggressive types.
There were many times over a period of years where it seemed like the cancer was winning the battle, but she'd always bounce back.
So many times this happened that part of me still can't understand how this time can be any different. I know cancer kills people all the fucking time, of course, but...that isn't how this story goes. right? Surely. I know this one so well by now.
Cancer makes me wish I could really live, as I sometimes feel I do, in a world powered by narrativium, because nothing so pointless and unfair as cancer could happen there.
There is nothing specific I can say: part of the pain of this kind of tragedy is how very ordinary it is. It breaks my heart to think of this happening all the time, though I know it does. Happening to people who I don't know and can't care about, just as they don't know and can't care much about Karen. None of us can deal with such things on the humanity-wide scale; we're not built for it and our minds would break.
Madeline L'Engle said "Every life is noted and is cherished, and nothing loved is ever lost or perished.” I guess by doing everything I can to ensure the first part of that is true, I can foster a hope that the second half will be true as well.
One half of one of those couples, Karen, has been in hospice care for the last week or so and apparently it's a matter of hours rather even than days now.
"Battling cancer" is a cliché, but Karen really did. She's been sick for so long, had several surgeries and some intimdating-sounding elective treatments. She religiously followed advice in books like those written by Andrew's uncle about vitamin intake and dietary changes for cancer patients. She bought beautiful headscarves and stylish clothes in new tiny sizes to hide the outward side effects of the chemotherapy. The tumors have attacked so many parts of her body, including her brain, ensuring she'd lose her memory and her voice and her personality even before she will lose her life. Apparently her sort of cancer is one of the most aggressive types.
There were many times over a period of years where it seemed like the cancer was winning the battle, but she'd always bounce back.
So many times this happened that part of me still can't understand how this time can be any different. I know cancer kills people all the fucking time, of course, but...that isn't how this story goes. right? Surely. I know this one so well by now.
Cancer makes me wish I could really live, as I sometimes feel I do, in a world powered by narrativium, because nothing so pointless and unfair as cancer could happen there.
There is nothing specific I can say: part of the pain of this kind of tragedy is how very ordinary it is. It breaks my heart to think of this happening all the time, though I know it does. Happening to people who I don't know and can't care about, just as they don't know and can't care much about Karen. None of us can deal with such things on the humanity-wide scale; we're not built for it and our minds would break.
Madeline L'Engle said "Every life is noted and is cherished, and nothing loved is ever lost or perished.” I guess by doing everything I can to ensure the first part of that is true, I can foster a hope that the second half will be true as well.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-19 07:56 pm (UTC)(And Madeleine L'Engle is my favorite person ever, and I want to believe that quote, too.)
(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 07:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-19 08:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 07:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 08:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 10:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 02:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 04:49 pm (UTC)The second could also be done if you feel agreeing enough to collect memories and publish them in some way.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-21 02:19 pm (UTC)My goodness yes, you've really nailed it there.
I really can understand your disbelief too, I think it's a natural part of trying to process something this distressing.
I see in a comment above you feel bad for not being able to take any action but I am absolutely sure the cards you are sending to her husband have been tremendously helpful to him and give him a little more strength.
I'm terribly sorry for your pain, and for that of your family and her family and friends.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-21 05:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-19 07:54 pm (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-19 07:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-10-20 03:52 pm (UTC)Fuck Cancer.