[353/365]

I slept great last night after how tired I was yesterday.

Unfortunately it didn't stop me having a headache all day, or a "depression attack" at lunchtime that at its worst featured a lot of depersonalization again, which I hate. Also involved a lot of regular depression and maybe some slight triggers.

It didn't help that I really did feel like I was on the margins of conversations going on in my phone, and yet I didn't have the werewithal to step away from them because I was, am (and have been), particularly desperate for social interaction lately. And a friend did have legitimately very good news, so I was trying to celebrate that with other people who were happy about it, but I don't know most of them as well as they know each other, and I have really different experiences in some ways, so it wasn't working out. Part of me could tell this wasn't ideal for me, but none of me could find anything as compelling to spend my time on today.

It was all pretty uncomfortable.

As soon as I could stop working, I told myself "what would I do if I felt okay" and did that: I wrapped presents and packages for MB, whose hands aren't up to it lately. I asked D about our vague plan to go into town for a little bit of Christmas markets since we hadn't managed it yet this year.

Sadly our decade-long tradition of getting poppyseed strudel there had to be broken, since the strudel stall inexplicably is no longer doing like five different flavors of strudel but only the most boring one (apple). But we enjoyed other Christmas-market stalwarts: a giant sausage inna bun for him (really giant! the "half a meter bratwurst"!) and mulled wine for us both (I was very happy with the rum and mint one I had!).