[224/365] a good thing

At the end of June, my GP finally reinstated appointments that could book in any way other than by calling at 8 in the morning for a same-day one. Which wouldn't even happen at a particular time, you'd just be told "morning" or "afternoon."

That rarely worked around my old job, or even many of my days off -- if I had volunteering or other commitments, just any kind of thing at all, I couldn't even bother calling. And even when I didn't, often as not I'd spend 45-60 minutes trying to get through, failing, and then either giving up or when I finally did get a receptionist on the phone it was just to tell me that there were no more appointments left and I'd have to try the next day.

I was never able to try the next day.

The whole thing made me irritable, anxious and prone to anger whenever I needed to call someone and the line was busy, especially if I had to keep trying. It wasn't good.

And all this meant that I never got a follow-up appointment that I'd had after trying new mental health meds a year ago. They give you a month and, I distinctly remember the doctor saying "can you come back in three or four weeks to see how you're getting on?" and me replying "I hope so!"

I could not get an appointment.

I told you all that so you'll know what a big deal it was that I had an appointment today. A nice GP called me, I talked about how mental I am, she's not bothered about prescribing me more meds and has suggested counselling again (which, fine, but I'm going to be very firm in my self-referral this time; not only No CBT but No Ignorance about Disability or Queer Stuff either; it's just a waste of time for me if I get someone who's useless at those). She wants to talk to me in a few weeks, emphasized that if I feel worse and/or want meds in the meantime to get in touch, and then, at the end, said something really cool.

"I notice that you identify as non-binary," she said, which sorta surprised me -- I've never knowingly done that, and the first time I said "I'm a man" was to get my GIC referral (only a year ago), but okay! come to think of it, she might even have been going by my title, which is Mx. at the GP -- and I braced myself for some kind of "so is that a cause or an effect of your mental illness" type thing.

But all she said was "Do you have a preferred name you would rather we use for you?"

I was so shocked! I said "Um...yes! I do. It's Erik, with a k."

I could hear her typing, she explained that they'd still have my birth name (that's what she called it, she didn't say it again, which I thought was pretty cool), but that this would be there as a preferred name. I was still surprised and delighted. I had never expected such a thing to be possible, so I hadn't even asked!

And then she said. "Great. Nice to talk to you today, Erik."

And suddenly, it was so much nicer talking to her too.

That kind of thing isn't going to fix anyone's depression or anxiety or whatever of course. But I was so happy when I got off the phone, I bounced in to tell the others. It's definitely the best thing that came out of that appointment.