[191/365] not sure what to say today

The weather was nice again -- it reached 80, less windy than yesterday but with a good breeze -- so I sat outside a lot. Enough to get a bit of sunburn, oops. Finished a library book (about mid-century USian kitchens, written by the YWA guest who talked about Martha Stewart recently). Made dinner for the first time probably since Monday; everyone was approximately awake and hungry enough to eat a proper meal.

I was feeling pretty emotional by the time dinner was over. Maybe Sunday-night blues, on top of everything else.

I had to talk to my parents and felt worse after I did -- we complained about politics a lot and thankfully we're all on the same side (something I can not say about my extended family, holy shit) but it sucks to dwell on, and also it looks like my mom is feeling a bit abandoned by the siblings on both her and my dad's sides of the family. My parents aren't able to let that go and prioritize relationships that are working better for them, they have these ideas about faaaaamily, and I hate to see them putting so much more effort and kindness into these relationships than they're getting out of them. I ended up feeling so sad that this is all they've got: that I'm not closer, that my brother's not here, that they never got to have grandkids.

I didn't tell them we have covid. I don't want to worry them, and I especially do not want to have a conversation about what we did to get it, or didn't do, or anything.

We ordered some LFTs to turn up tomorrow, time to start testing and see how recovery is going for us.