binned

I think it was his first reaction when I asked if it'd be okay to come around to get some things. "What things?!" I was sheepish about wanting the printer but otherwise baffled. "Kitchen things...couple of books...hopefully my bike..." Nothing you'd miss, was my underlying message.

But he asked me again when I got there the next day. I was in the kitchen, looking through cupboards! This time he explained further though. "I might have thrown some of your stuff away," he said, or words to that effect. I was too stressed to remember them accurately. "I thought you got everything the last time you were here." I think I asked him what he meant and he was evasive. It was a murky train of thought, leading perhaps to unpleasantness and I didn't want that while I was still fetching things of value to me.

But the more I think about it, the more sinister it feels. Friend and I agreed the way he was talking meant he absolutely definitely has chucked some of my stuff. I didn't notice anything obviously missing (except where are all my tank tops, heh). I wonder what it was.

Talking over it again even later, I realize that he hasn't even thrown away normal things: empty bottles, wrappers... They're everywhere. Throwing away anything of mine would've been an especially deliberate act, amidst such a lack of interest in throwing actual rubbish away. I wonder what drove that. I shivered a little to think of it -- not so much the possessions I'll never see again as the negativity behind such behavior.

[279/365] we are a confusing household

Soon after I got home from work, mother_bones said "something so hilarious happened, but I want to tell you and diffrentcolours at the same time," so I was left intrigued.

He works late on a Wednesday, and then stayed upstairs later having another video game date with his bestie, so I'd had a few chances in that time to remember "ooh there's a funny story to hear, I'm looking forward to that!" and then forget again.

Not too long after diffrentcolours came downstairs to eat his pizza (before we ate all of it -- and if Gary had his way, he'd be included in that "we"), I said "Oh, we can hear the story now!" and explained to him about this.

mother_bones had clearly forgotten too because she had that pre-amused look of someone who knows what's coming, and she started by chuckling and saying stuff like "Right -- I don't even know where to start."

She was talking to The Person at the Garden Center Whose Name We Don't Know. We know the other one well, who owns it, and this lady is super nice and I've never known her name and mother_bones can never remember it and we both feel really bad about it. Anyway. That one.

The two of them were talking about Gary and how great he is -- Gary's first walk, of four today, took us past there and she spotted us and took the opportunity to compliment him effusively, which I thought was very sweet. Then the lady moved on to saying something about the people who are always with Gary -- 99% of his walks are done by me or me and diffrentcolours -- and she asked, "Are those your sons? Or...daughter?"*

mother_bones said she just threw her head back and howled with laughter. "I must be looking old today," she said (she is older than us! and I'm not a lot older than her actual sons and diffrentcolours isn't a lot older than me, but still...!) She also did her best to reassure the horrified lady, who was realizing what she'd just said, that this truly wasn't anything to feel embarrassed about, that it'd made her day.

"I did attempt to explain our household to her," mother_bones told us. (Which will delight the lady who owns the garden center, who's spent years trying to figure out why random people seem to live in this house what with the previous lodgers and for all she knows I'm just this year's one.) "And then we commiserated about what it's like being in our fifties, because we're about the same age."

It sounds like a totally adorable conversation, and it does amuse me every time I think about it now. We were all very sympathetic to the idea that no one could tell our relationships to each other just by looking.** I asked her if she'd told her actual sons about this, because they'll both think it's hilarious as well. diffrentcolours said "Yeah, among the people who'll find this funny: my boyfriend, his boyfriend, my two real sons..."


* Yes, I am delighted that my gender is still baffling to people who see me in every possible state of disarray (sometimes I do not want to walk the dog and yet I still walk the dog but I feel my clothes indicate my lack of interest in my body interacting with society at these times, and since gender is nothing but a relationship between a body and society, I am delighted to know mine is still capable of seeming like probably-someone's-son then)!

** I've found, with tradespeople and delivery people and that sort of thing, that I'm assumed to be either of the other two if the person has one of their names, and I'm assumed to be the gay partner of either of the other two if they know me not to be the name they have on their contact details, or if I'm like standing next to them or something. Best version of that was when a plumber was here and mother_bones and I were downstairs, dog-wrangling and moving stuff out of his way and whatnot. At one point he said "did I hear water running upstairs? I'm going to have to turn off the water..." and mother_bones said "Oh yeah that's fine, it's just my partner upstairs" and the guy, when he heard this, looked at her, looked at me with a very clear isn't this your partner?! look on his face, and looked back at her slightly more worriedly. I worried I'd only imagined that look from him but when she and I compared notes later we'd both independently noticed this, heh.