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Thinking too much
Apr. 2nd, 2004 12:38 amI think I've figured out why you all think I think I'm unattractive.
Considering how little I trust my brain to make sense recently, I'll repeat that in a less-concise fashion: It has come to my attention that the random LJ people (of the Tour-de-Love type) who've started talking with me on IM recently have gotten the impression that I think I am unattractive. They're all eager to correct this, which is nice, but it's sort of confused me.
But, I thnk I've figured out why they think I'm unattractive and why I don't think I think that. It's because I've never thought about it. I do not think I am conventionally gorgeous, but that's verifiably true. And beyond that, I've never worried about it. I don't think I'm attractive, but I don't think I'm unattractive, either. It doesn't really interest me--which is probably evident from the lack of frequent hair-removal, face-coloration, or other tactics known to be prevalent among the female of the species... I'm not "butch" to make a point about anything, I'm just too lazy and apathetic to volunteer for bodily modifications that are sometimes painful and usually annoying and all-too-often impermanent and in need of constant re-doing.
I also think I've figured out the other thing that's confused me about those who've said they'd have sex with me, and whatnot. (It's been a good night for epiphanies. Probably because I've been thinking of other things the whole time.) A dozen of my LJ friends are real-life friends, but the rest of you guys are just words on a screen. This doesn't mean I don't care about you--far from it--and it doesn't mean I think I know nothing about you, since many of you write cool, insightful, interesting things. It does mean that I, without really thinking about it, classified you as a separate group of people, with the perfectly valid distinction of being people I did not know in real life. This is another of those unquestioned assumptions my brain seems to have gotten away with for a long time.
But now that people have asserted that they'd have sex with me if we were in the same place, and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
evil_grapefruit intends on taking care of the "in the same place" detail, I'm left with the prospect of meeting people in the "people I'll never meet" group. Even without the sex (which, they all point out, is not part of the deal), it's rather mind-boggling. But since they are the ones who tell me I'm attractive, etc., my poor brain is terribly confused and shuts down. And I'm often bad at receiving compliments anyway, much as I like them, so I suppose I would seem that I think I'm unattractive.
This is all drivel, though, so I'll stop now.
Considering how little I trust my brain to make sense recently, I'll repeat that in a less-concise fashion: It has come to my attention that the random LJ people (of the Tour-de-Love type) who've started talking with me on IM recently have gotten the impression that I think I am unattractive. They're all eager to correct this, which is nice, but it's sort of confused me.
But, I thnk I've figured out why they think I'm unattractive and why I don't think I think that. It's because I've never thought about it. I do not think I am conventionally gorgeous, but that's verifiably true. And beyond that, I've never worried about it. I don't think I'm attractive, but I don't think I'm unattractive, either. It doesn't really interest me--which is probably evident from the lack of frequent hair-removal, face-coloration, or other tactics known to be prevalent among the female of the species... I'm not "butch" to make a point about anything, I'm just too lazy and apathetic to volunteer for bodily modifications that are sometimes painful and usually annoying and all-too-often impermanent and in need of constant re-doing.
I also think I've figured out the other thing that's confused me about those who've said they'd have sex with me, and whatnot. (It's been a good night for epiphanies. Probably because I've been thinking of other things the whole time.) A dozen of my LJ friends are real-life friends, but the rest of you guys are just words on a screen. This doesn't mean I don't care about you--far from it--and it doesn't mean I think I know nothing about you, since many of you write cool, insightful, interesting things. It does mean that I, without really thinking about it, classified you as a separate group of people, with the perfectly valid distinction of being people I did not know in real life. This is another of those unquestioned assumptions my brain seems to have gotten away with for a long time.
But now that people have asserted that they'd have sex with me if we were in the same place, and
evil_grapefruit intends on taking care of the "in the same place" detail, I'm left with the prospect of meeting people in the "people I'll never meet" group. Even without the sex (which, they all point out, is not part of the deal), it's rather mind-boggling. But since they are the ones who tell me I'm attractive, etc., my poor brain is terribly confused and shuts down. And I'm often bad at receiving compliments anyway, much as I like them, so I suppose I would seem that I think I'm unattractive.This is all drivel, though, so I'll stop now.