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Quarter-life crisis
Mar. 31st, 2003 12:20 pmI disagree: April is not the cruelest month, March is.
Or so I'm starting to believe. This isn't the first time it's been a bad month. I just mentioned earlier today that it seemed three of my friends broke up with their boyfriends within the space of a week or two, during March, last year. And don't even get me started on the one before that.
Due to the influence of MSN conversations last week, my screen name for a short while was "I am Holly's irrational unhappiness" (it made more sense if you saw "I am Allison's absurd life through frames" and "I am Jack's" something I don't remember on my friends list). It was actually in the course of talking to Allison's absurd life through frames that the phrase "irrational unhappiness" was generated.
When I tried to explain said irrationally unhappy state to Katie she thought it sounded like I had lots of reasons to be unhappy...and maybe I do. Nothing very big in itself, but a very powerful cumulative effect of subtle things--and not noticing them or not thinking much of them sometimes only seems to make it worse. I'm not often very unhappy, and so I don't handle it well. Being happy is much more fun. And when I don't really know what's making me unhappy...well, that only gets added to the list of reasons I'm unhappy. It's very hard to fix something when you don't know what's wrong.
It's not just me, either. I keep hearing that my friends, or their friends, or whatever are recently lonely, depressed, melancholy, suspecting various mental disorders in varying degrees, stressed, apathetic, bored, wanting to transfer or change their major or take a year off or make some other drastic life change. Drastic life changes aren't bad--they're often good and seem reasonable when one is unhappy--but they do indicate that people are unhappy, are dissatisfied with their lives. And though I know this isn't really true, it seems that the more times you change your mind, the more time you spend being unhappy, the more likely you are to be a loser forever. None of us want to be losers.
Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
--John Mayer
"Why Georgia"
Or so I'm starting to believe. This isn't the first time it's been a bad month. I just mentioned earlier today that it seemed three of my friends broke up with their boyfriends within the space of a week or two, during March, last year. And don't even get me started on the one before that.
Due to the influence of MSN conversations last week, my screen name for a short while was "I am Holly's irrational unhappiness" (it made more sense if you saw "I am Allison's absurd life through frames" and "I am Jack's" something I don't remember on my friends list). It was actually in the course of talking to Allison's absurd life through frames that the phrase "irrational unhappiness" was generated.
When I tried to explain said irrationally unhappy state to Katie she thought it sounded like I had lots of reasons to be unhappy...and maybe I do. Nothing very big in itself, but a very powerful cumulative effect of subtle things--and not noticing them or not thinking much of them sometimes only seems to make it worse. I'm not often very unhappy, and so I don't handle it well. Being happy is much more fun. And when I don't really know what's making me unhappy...well, that only gets added to the list of reasons I'm unhappy. It's very hard to fix something when you don't know what's wrong.
It's not just me, either. I keep hearing that my friends, or their friends, or whatever are recently lonely, depressed, melancholy, suspecting various mental disorders in varying degrees, stressed, apathetic, bored, wanting to transfer or change their major or take a year off or make some other drastic life change. Drastic life changes aren't bad--they're often good and seem reasonable when one is unhappy--but they do indicate that people are unhappy, are dissatisfied with their lives. And though I know this isn't really true, it seems that the more times you change your mind, the more time you spend being unhappy, the more likely you are to be a loser forever. None of us want to be losers.
Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
--John Mayer
"Why Georgia"