My hand is tired, my heart aches

[cosmolinguist]

Today I have reached some kind of critical mass of petulance, grumpiness and exhaustion with the moving-house process, and have gotten next to nothing done. And the only reason I have done anything is I'm increasingly worried it won't all get packed up in time. Fear is a pretty poor motivator, especially as it also adds to the exhaustion.

Comments

[quirkytizzy]

Fear is a poor motivator, indeed. Maybe rest is a better one? I know you've been frustrated at not doing as much as you think you should be doing, but me being so tired and frustrated just makes it even more insurmountable. (That's just me, though, if this doesn't apply, feel free to tell me "Bitch, you don't know what you're talking about!")

It also does add to being tired. Increased heart rate and floody chemicals of anxiety and whatnot.

*hugs and soothing, heart calming things your way*

[cosmolinguist]

Rest is better, I know, and my body is giving me all the signals that I'd normally think mean "more naps!" I'm deliberately ignoring them now, because I really am feeling the pressure of getting everything packed in time. I know I can ignore my body's demands for short periods -- a few days -- at a time. I'll pay for it later, but I already knew the whole house-buying thing would mean I'd end up with all my usual stress-related/overexertion fatigues and illnesses.

And especially as the completion/move has happened to arrive hot on the heels of the worst period of mental health I've had in years, I know it's only stress and deadlines holding me together right now, and I'll fall apart as soon as either abates at all. I was just wondering what I'll get first: migraines? insomnia? hypersomnia? Too much appetite or none? (I'm hardly eating at all now so I bet that'll flip over to "too much".)

Thanks for your kind words. I think I've done as much as I can for now, so will spend a little quality time with House of Cards and knitting, and try not to think about all I've left undone. :)

[quirkytizzy]

Also bonus points for the word "petulance." That's a word that's not used nearly enough!

[cosmolinguist]

Oh I could be the poster child for petulant. It's my go-to word for when I can feel myself starting to melt down, because said meltdown so often manifests itself in thoughts like "why do I have to do this? I can't do this. Why doesn't anything nice ever happen to me? I need more fun." Et cetera, et cetera. :)

[magister]

Anything I can do?

[cosmolinguist]

Just put up with me for this week until things start to calm down again. :)

[magister]

Can do that.

[sfred]

*sympathy*

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks. Always good to hear from you.