A nice work thing

[cosmolinguist]

I was in meetings for almost 7 hours yesterday and I started this morning with another one that was only two hours but still felt like a lot.

It was lots of work: thinking deeply about a complicated problem that doesn't have an answer yet, and trying to present my organization's (unsatisfyingly inconclusive) position on this accurately is extra important because the issue can be, in our small circles, a contentious one.

Also because my counterpart from the most similar organization we work with was there and she knows a lot more than me.

Also my manager was there unexpectedly, which made me nervous. He's great but I just feel self-conscious being Perceived while I try to do my job.

It worked out really well though: part way through the meeting he sent me a private message saying "You are really killing it in this workshop!" It made me grin. I said I was glad to hear that because of the thing about how I always feel inadequate in the company of this other person. He said "You and she work really well together. Your additions are so calm and clear." Clear thinking is among the highest praise from him so that was really nice to hear.

What with the verge-of-burnout much of this year, the sword-of-Damocles "transformation" (i.e. redundancies) hanging over us since July and not getting resolved until March, internal struggles made worse by how stressed everyone is but leading to me not really having meaningful work to do all year, and my manager having to support a team full of people in more or less similar positions to mine...there hasn't been a lot of positivity and affirmation for me at work lately.

So it was really nice to get that this morning.

Comments

[suzannareads]

It’s great to get that kind of positive feedback. Hope it continues!