parents

[cosmolinguist]

My parents, maybe just my dad, keep asking me if I want to move back but they're not really asking me, they're telling me they want me to.

I keep saying "well not now" which is easy when I can't even travel there but last time my dad pressed it: "maybe in a few years?" I hate being asked this. So much. The question makes me so sad.

At first I thought it was just the old familiar sadness of disappointing my parents. And it is.

But it's also that they apparently think that the marriage was all that was keeping me here. Like I didn't build myself a whole life outside that relationship: friends, work, volunteering, school.

I'm sad that they think all that was keeping me here was being married. It's like they don't even think I could find another relationship worth hanging onto even given "a few more years" here. I'm sad that they don't think (at least didn't mention) anything else that might keep me here either.

I guess the only other legitimate thing that they'd accept keeping me here is a really good job. So now I'm sad I don't have a really good job either.