[40/365] This week has been at least three weeks long

[cosmolinguist]

Yesterday I said

Tomorrow I am in meetings from 9am until 3:30 and I also have a GP phone appointment at some random time during the day. One hour of those meetings I can sneak out of but the rest I can't easily! So I'm sure this won't be a stressful day at all...

It was actually so stressful almost immediately that I wasn't that stressed about this!

The GP of course called not only while I was delivering training but just as I scrolled down the planning document to where it basically said "next section will be delivered by Erik", that is when the phone rang.

I was so frustrated and tired that I actually asked her if she could call me back in 20 minutes. She seemed surprised (this is something I wouldn't usually do!) but agreed. She's very nice but probably used to her time being more important than that of anyone she talks to.

And she did call me back after precisely 20 minutes! Which wasn't quite enough time for the training to be over but it was enough for me to skip out on the end.

She asked me what kind of training I'd been delivering which was such an unexpected interest in my non-medical life that I was surprised into another honest statement. "It's intersectionality training." That might have surprised her, but at least she didn't ask what it was, heh.

The appointment was kind of exhausting -- at least both diffrentcolours and mother_bones could sit there with me; D helped on the call and MB just was happily supportive and commiserated afterwards. I'm trying brain drugs again finally.

Tomorrow I'm doing a weird site visit for work.

Comments

[otter]

Brain drugs help me smooth out the high spikes and deep wells enough that I can manage the rolling hills.
I hope they work well for you.

[cosmolinguist]

I've tried about five different kinds over the years with no luck but whatever, we'll see.

[otter]

It very well could be that the problem lies in the stresses of the world around you and not with your brain at all.

[cosmolinguist]

I think that is definitely true to some extent, but I've also had depression at least since my teens and anxiety at age 5 if not earlier, so I think there are probably brain chemical things going on.

[hairyears]

I'm back on the Dried Frog Pills, too: I hope they work out for you!

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks! I don't think these ones will work, but I hope yours do!

[silveradept]

That's perfect timing. And a lot of stress. And also makes me annoyed at how many places assume that we can just be available for any four hour window they want.

[cosmolinguist]

Yeah, I'm annoyed too because it was just untenable in my last job, and even in this much more forgiving (time slot-wise) one it's not always great either, as we've seen here!

[tarasacon]

Sending love! I went through several decades of attempting various brain drugs, in part due to misdiagnosis. It can be a really frustrating process.

(I have atypical reactions to many of them, and am also way over on the “sensitive” side of the bell curve for respond to medications. This means I have to convince the prescriber to ramp me up from below the lowest standard dose if at all possible, even if it means cutting pills &/or grinding them into water and taking a solution.)

[cosmolinguist]

Thanks. I seem to be on the opposite end of the bell curve from you: nothing does anything for me, not even the bad side effects (except for one that made me fat).

[tarasacon]

ugh, I’m so sorry!