[165/365] adulting

[cosmolinguist]

I need to find a solicitor to finalize Andrew buying me out of the house. And I need to look at a bunch of paperwork for my new job and determine things about pensions and which name I use for which form and who gets my death benefits.

I have never had to think about any of this before, it is all too much adulting and my brain is refusing to cooperate.

I've done about half of this but there's some paperwork I'm still not sure what name to put on. And I was getting through the bank details/NI number form fine until I saw it asks for my gender too. Why.

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

When you see the solicitor, can you get a deed poll lodged for name purposes?

[cosmolinguist]

A nice idea but I don't want to change it here until I can in the U.S. too, because having different names on different passports/documents is an even worse version of the "which name do I use" game then I am playing now.

[angelofthenorth]

Oh argh. Sorry, that sounds like a nightmare

[barakta]

Ugh, that sounds hard. I am guessing changing your name in USA is hard with your family and so on.

It was bad enough for me using two similar names at the same time and not having any good reason NOT to just fucking change it in time to get the right one on my degree cert.

[cosmolinguist]

My family yes but also the state I'm from has fairly awkward name change rules.

[radiantfracture]

Oof, I can see how that would make the brain stall. Do you know any good workarounds for that kind of stacking? I could use some too.

Why

INDEED. I mean -- it must for sexism purposes, right? For ease of sexism.

[cosmolinguist]

"For ease of sexism" made me laugh but the comment below yours, from sfred, reveals that this pretty much is the case, yes!

As for workarounds...asking people for help often works. Sometimes the help is practical of course but often it is just listening to me talk about how much I don't want to do the thing.

I think the talking helps me deal with my emotions which are always the source of procrastination for me. It's never a time-management problem, I have perfectly good skills in the realm of "break a big task into small manageable tasks" and so on. If I'm not doing that it's because something emotional is causing me a mental block. I find this incredibly annoying but I've found the best way to deal with it is to face the emotions even though I also hate that.

[radiantfracture]

I've found the best way to deal with it is to face the emotions even though I also hate that.

I can tell this is good advice because I do not want to take it

It's never a time-management problem

No, for sure -- sorry, reading that back my comment sounds creepily coachy.

It's not a time thing for me either. For me if there are two sets of instructions which even slightly contradict (even instructions I have made up in my head) I have a really hard time prioritizing one & just kind of lock up in an infinite loop of trying to resolve both

[cosmolinguist]

sorry, reading that back my comment sounds creepily coachy.

Not at all! It's a great question. <3

[sfred]

I was getting through the bank details/NI number form fine until I saw it asks for my gender too. Why.

Because until everyone who has an unequal, gendered age for retirement ages out of the system, they'll keep asking everyone. (No, it's not OK.)

[cosmolinguist]

Argh, of course. I forgot about pensions. :) I'm a millennial, I never expect pensions to have anything to do with me.

[sfred]

<3

[silveradept]

Ugh. Here's hoping that the logjam ears enough to do small amounts of the thing.

And that you have a proper refreshing drink to yell at forms that ask unnecessary questions.

[cosmolinguist]

I've made a little progress, I'm feeling only a little stuck now.

have a proper refreshing drink to yell at forms

Honestly the plan diffrentcolours came up with is to deal with the job paperwork when I get home from work today, and then get takeout and get really, deliberately drunk. :) I am looking forward to it.